


nothing’s more holy than...

by Anonymous



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Accidental Love Confessions, Biting, Blasphemy kink, Bottom Crowley - Freeform, Broke: porn without plot, Chastity, Crack Treated Seriously, Cuddling, Dirty Talk, Edging, F/F, F/M, Filming, Fluff and Smut, Group Sex, M/M, Mild Blood, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Outdoor Sex, Overstimulation, PWP, Powerbottom Crowley, Riding, Rough Sex, Safeword Use, Scissoring, Scratching, Sweet Talk, Vibrators, Voyeurism, au- crowley never fell, bespoke: the plot is based off the porn, crowley was raphael, crowley will be referred to as Raphael bc I’m a lazy fuck, is that a thing?? it is now, sort of??, throatfucking, woke: the porn IS the plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-09-27 14:57:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20409652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: A series of NSFW oneshots of whatever couples/polyam I feel like doing. Feel free to drop requests but there's no guarantee I'll do them.chapter 1; gabriel/raphael/aziraphale/uriel/michaelchapter 2; gabriel/beelzebubchapter 3; hastur/ligurchapters 4-6; aziraphale/crowleychapter 7; michael/gabrielchapters 8-10; aziraphale/crowley





	1. a good old fashioned gangbang

**Author's Note:**

> idek what to say to this ok. just take it. take the pornography
> 
> 31 august edit: found out you can't, in fact, make a series & keep it anonymous sooo this is a multi part story!! hooray!! more porn to be added soon  
8 sept edit; okok for any new readers, i know this is full of mistakes esp near the end but bear w me please ;-;-;-; it'll be fixed soon pardners i promise

"Oh, Raphael," Gabriel says with a wide, smug smile, "You look positively stunning like this."

Raphael whimpers beneath him, copper tresses of curls sprawled out beneath him wildly. The floor of Gabriel's office is makes him shiver every time he moves, exposing warmed skin to the freezing marble beneath him. His hands, bound behind his back by some sort of gold and angelic-looking material, make feeble attempts at moving but yields no satisfying results. "Do I really," He asks in a voice so quiet it's barely there at all, "Gabriel?"

The other archangel chuckles and tightens his grip on the redhead's hips. Raphael squeaks again.

'Come to my office later,' Gabriel had said to him earlier, 'It'll be fun!' He'd said. 'Think of it as a sort of teambuilding exercise.'

Well, Raphael thought, Fun was certainly one word for it.

"What sort of a question is that?" Michael teases, running the fingertips of one hand down Raphael's bare chest. "Oh, you are truly wonderful, Raph. If only your work performance lately was as brilliant."

Raphael's face goes a deep red and he turns away, embarrassed. "Michael, don't be like that! You're making me embarrassed."

Michael chuckles sweetly, pressing a chaste kiss to the side of the other archangel's face. "Good."

"But don't stress, dear," Gabriel gently pulls his cock out of Raphael until only the head remains inside. "We're here to help you redeem yourself." Without warning, he thrusts back in all the way to the hilt. Raphael's moan borders on a scream, his whole body trembling, and his cock jerks against his stomach.

"Ohhh, Gabe..." Raphael moans breathily. He attempts to prop himself up on his elbows but Michael's hand to his sternum holds him down. "Please, please touch me, Uriel, Michael, somebody."

"Hm..." Gabriel thinks it over for a second. "Uriel, do you think he deserves to be touched?" He looks over to the angel in question, who is sitting only a few feet away watching all this unfold. She smiles serenely at Gabriel, then looks over to Raphael.

"I don't think so," She replies, beginning to undo the belt of her slacks. Gabriel's eyes widen but he says nothing. "Not yet, anyway. I think, if he wants to earn being touched, he should do a favor for one of us first, yes?" The other angels murmured in assent, minus Raphael. "Perfect! Glad we're all on the same page. I have just the thing for him."

Raphael watches with wide eyes as she drops her trousers, kicking them off to reveal white panties with a lace trim. Uriel smirks down at him, knowing that he can see where this is going. She hooks her thumbs around the hips of her panties and, in two swift stepping motions, strips out of them to reveal hints of her flat midriff and a clean-shaven pubic mound. She notices a hunger in Raphael's eyes and Michael does too, taking this as an opportunity to make sure now more than ever that the redheaded angel is properly being held down for this. "Hey, Raphael. I don't suppose you've ever gone down on a woman before?"

Raphael's gold eyes go wide and he shakes his head no.

"Answer her verbally, Raphael." Gabriel teases with a particularly hard snap of his hips forward into the other archangel. Raphael almost finished then and there.

"N-no, Uriel, I haven't!" He whimpers, sounding very nearly like he was on the verge of discorporating. The other three angels know, however, that their little plaything here is just very desperate to get off, and they silently intend to keep him like this for as long as they can manage.

"Oh? Well, there's a first time for everything. I wonder if you'd be good at it." Uriel hums, straddling Raphael's shoulders. Her pussy is right there, visibly wet and everything looking absolutely perfect for lack of a better descriptor. "Well, no time for learning like the present, right?" She smiles, and it is positively devious. Nothing at all like how a good angel should act.

Before Raphael can give a response, Uriel is sitting on his face, her cunt pressed to his lips, and he instinctively opens his mouth to let his tongue flick out against her. He's not sure what he expected, but the taste is interesting to say the least. He likes it. Uriel lets out a breathy moan.

Gabriel starts moving his hips again, slowly and teasingly, and Raphael moans up into Uriel's cunt.

"Ooh," Uriel shivers, pressing herself further against the other archangel's mouth. "Yess. Keep going." She commands, one hand snaking downwards to grab hold of Raphael's luxuriously long hair. Michael gingerly presses her hands to Uriel's thighs and sits up, kissing her.

"Uriel," Michael pulls away after a few second and whispers into her neck, "You're positively breathtaking."

"Perhaps you'll have a turn on him after me?" Uriel murmurs back as Raphael's tongue works against her labia and the hood of her clit. "He's quite good for a first-timer, I think."

Michael hums in thought. "No, I don't think I will." She says after a moment, leaning in to nip at the lobe of Uriel's ear. "I have something else in mind for him, should Gabriel allow it."

"Oh," Uriel smirks. "You're brilliant." She praises and grabs the other angel by the jacket for a second kiss.

Meanwhile, Gabriel is having the time of his life. He's only just entered Raphael, only just started really fucking into him with his hands tight on the other angel's hips, but oh is this absolutely delightful. Raphael is so tight, so warmly sheathed around his cock that Gabriel feels he might cry from how wonderful it all is. It's clear Raphael's enjoying himself as well from the wanton noises coming from between Uriel's legs. He really should have thought of this as a 'punishment' for poor work performance sooner, he muses, moving his hands slightly lower so his wrist just barely grazes the head of Raphael's dripping cock.

The redhead makes the most obscene noise he'd let out during this entire ordeal, making Uriel's eyes shut in bliss and her eyebrow's furrow.

"Oh, goodness," She breathes, grinding her hips against the other angel's mouth, "Oh, oh Raphael, just like that. H-holy fff—"

Michael silences her by plunging her tongue into her mouth, hands working up to undo the other's blazer and shirt.

Gabriel's not sure how much longer he can last, and frankly, he's almost looking forward to finishing. He can almost feel the humiliation, the frustration radiating off of Raphael as it was from how badly he wanted to either finish himself off or have someone else do it for him. Imagine how much more desperate he would feel after Gabriel finally finished in him, leaving the poor angel debauched and filthy, laying on the floor of his office with a still-dripping cock and a hole filled with cum—

The thought of that alone makes Gabriel toss his head back with a low groan, spilling inside Raphael with a shudder. Raphael in turn makes a most precious whining noise, the heat of Gabriel's seed making his body feel weak all over.

"Dear me, is he really that good, Gabriel?" Michael teases, opening Uriel's blouse to fondle her breasts.

"Eh," Gabriel pants, feigning indifference, and pulls out of Raphael. "Only when he looks as wanton and messed up as he does now."

Raphael's face is as red as his hair now, both from the amazing sex and Gabriel's positively humiliating words. They go straight to his aching cock, which, Raphael notes, has received a cruel lack of attention throughout this entire ordeal. Above him, he can feel Uriel's cunt tightening in anticipation of a release and he knows she's getting close, gently sucking on her inner labia and relishing the words of praise that fall from her mouth. He takes her clit directly into his mouth, sucking it lightly but applying enough pressure with his lips that it makes Uriel throw her head back with a guttural moan.

"Ffffuck, Raphael!" She screams, and a split second later her entire body convulses from the strength of her orgasm. Michael tenderly kisses her neck through it, massaging one of her breasts with one hand and squeezing her ass with the other. Breathy moans and whines leave her mouth as she rides it out against Raphael's tongue, and the angel underneath her eagerly laps at her cunt the whole way.

"Hhgh, Raphael, s-stop, it's too much now," Uriel pants, her knees going weak and her body shaking in over-stimulation. Raphael relents, closing his mouth a bit awkwardly. Uriel weakly gets off him with the help of Michael, who gently guides her into a sitting position. Her back presses into Michael's chest and the other archangel rests her head on Uriel's shoulder.

Raphael's breathing, though technically an action not required of him at all, is ragged and uneven. His face is still flushed an embarrassingly bright red, his mouth and the surrounding skin still slick with Uriel's cum, and he looks up at Gabriel with a desperation only otherwise shown while Raphael is deeply concentrated in a prayer.

"You're doing quite well so far, Raphael." Gabriel remarks. He gently wraps his index finger and thumb around the base of the other angel's cock and Raphael keens, so desperate is he even for that little bit of contact. "With the way you finished Uriel just now, I'm considering finally giving you some release of your own." He smiles sweetly in a way that normally would set off suspicion in Raphael's mind, but in the moment he's far too horny to care.

"Oh, thank you, Gabriel!" He moans, his voice acting on its own at this point and the angel himself barely registering what he's saying.

Gabriel's smile widens a little farther, enough for it to now be classified as a smirk, and he pulls his hand away. "However, I won't."

Raphael groans again, this time in frustration, and screws his eyes shut. "Come on, please?!" He begs, voice strained and desperate. Gabriel tilts his head to the side, a mischievous smile on his face.

"I'll let Uriel and Michael take it from here." He looks up at the two archangels in question. "Ladies?"

The two feminine angels look at each other.

"It's been a while since I've topped anyone." Michael smiles serenely and gets up to move herself in between Raphael's legs. Uriel follows her, sitting next to the redhead's outer hip and casually resting a hand on his thigh.

"But you won't let him finish, will you, dear?" Teases Uriel, her hand resting on Raphael's inner thigh in a patch of red hair just inches away from his cock.

Raphael groans and feels Gabriel's hand running through his hair soothingly.

"There, there. I know you're frustrated," Teases the other angel, pressing his lips to Raphael's temple, "But you understand this is necessary, right? I can't just let them give you what you want without a bit of patience." He smiles.

Raphael looks up at him with gold eyes wide in desperation. Adrenaline is flowing through every vein in his body, his pupils dilated and his extremities trembling slightly. There's something that almost feels wrong in what they're doing, something sinful, but they're angels. Archangels, at that. They can do no wrong, or so it is said, so when Gabriel leans over and kisses him roughly on the mouth Raphael sighs into it, letting the other defile his mouth with his tongue. If only his wrists weren't bound, he'd have his arms around Gabriel's neck, holding him and indulging himself in this act unbeknownst to everyone but the four of them.

(And, of course, Her, but that was a matter he'd rather not think about.)

As if Gabriel could tell what he was thinking, the bonds around Raphael's wrists suddenly come undone and the redhead throws his arms around the other angel's neck. The room is practically filled to the brim with lust, something normally considered a sin by all other metrics, but Raphael prefers to look at it as though it were nothing more than enthusiasm towards carrying out a team-building exercise. Though, it was absolutely worth noting none of this enjoyment is coming from Raphael himself; most definitely not, perish the thought!

The head of Michael's cock presses against his entrance--when had she given herself one of those?, he wonders--and Raphael melts.

"Michael--!" The name comes out abruptly in a shout against Gabriel's lips and even Raphael himself is surprised at how needy he sounds.

"Hmm?" Michael hums and her hands slide up Raphael's stomach to his chest, teasing at his sensitive nipples with her fingertips.

The redhead bites his lip and rests his head against Gabriel's neck, groaning.

"You want it in you?" Gabe teases, voice singsong and sweet.

Raphael hisses, "Don't you dare make me beg for it or so help me--"

"Beg." Michael snaps, and composes herself almost instantly thereafter. "After all, it's like Gabriel said. I can't just give you what you want right away. That just takes the fun out of it."

Raphael bites his lip with a scowl. He looks at Michael, then Uriel, then Gabriel, all of whom are eagerly awaiting his next action. He sighs, swallowing down the last of his dignity, and in a voice that comes out much higher and anxious than he expected says, "Please."

Luckily it seems that's all Michael wanted and thrusts in so her hips are flush against Raphael's body. The sudden sensation of being filled makes tears prick at the corner of the redhead's eyes and he shuts them, hiding his face in Gabriel's neck once again. Michael sighs in satisfaction.

"'S good," She murmurs and starts moving her hips. Uriel, with an amused smile on her face, ghosts her fingertips over the length of Raphael's leaking cock. The sensation is enough to make Raphael reflexively jerk his head upwards and knock into Gabriel's jaw.

"Ouch!" Both archangels groan and Michael ceases her movements.

"Oh," Raphael apologetically touches a hand to the spot of impact, healing Gabriel immediately. "I'm so sorry!"

Gabriel hums. "It's alright. You made it better, after all, so I can't be mad." He presses a kiss to Raphael's forehead and Michael takes this as a cue to resume her thrusting. Uriel's hand wraps around his cock and that's all it takes for Raphael to come tumbling over the edge, keening into Gabriel's chest as cum spills across his stomach.

"Ohh, dear," Uriel tuts, "I didn't expect you'd finish so soon."

"How embarrassing," Michael adds with a tight smile, "You've finished already and I'm not even near done."

Raphael's cheeks go red but he doesn't care. All he can manage to say are a few mumbled words, the impact of his orgasm practically knocking the wind out of him. Michael stops.

"Should I keep going?" She asks, apprehensive, and Raphael nods. "Goodness. All this already and he's still asking for more."

"How wanton," Uriel teases. "Suppose I should give him a reward for his temperance till now?"

Gabriel thinks it over. "I'd hardly imagine that spilling seed all over yourself at the slightest touch temperance." He says with a laugh, but makes no comment when Uriel takes Raphael's cock in her hand.

"Oh," The redhead moans as she slowly pumps her fist up and down, up and down around his cock. Angels lacked a refractory period unless they consciously chose to have one, and Raphael has no intentions of giving himself one as long as this was going on. He bucks his hips up into Uriel's hand, whining wantonly, cock still pulsing from his orgasm just moments prior.

Gabriel moves back so Raphael's head is sitting in his lap, the archangel's half-hard cock sitting just inches away from Raphael's face.

"Come here," He teases, the redhead turning so the other's cock is against his lips, "Put that pretty mouth of yours to use, Raph."

Raphael obeys without question, his lips parting to accommodate for Gabriel's cock and taking it in his mouth. His tongue presses against the glans, soft and warm and wet around the sensitive length, and the other archangel rolls his head back with a moan.

Uriel looks up at the two of them with a smile. "What a pretty picture the two of you make," She remarks, kissing just below Raphael's navel in a patch of wiry red hair. She squeezes the base of Raphael's length and the redhead groans, opening his mouth and allowing Gabriel more space for his own length. Truly, the four of them painted quite the obscene picture indeed; one archangel on his back, nude as any man-shaped creature could be and semen splattered across himself, taking cock from two others while a third jerked him off in the most teasing way possible.

It is, in every possible way, a sinful sight to behold. It is wicked, immoral, degenerate, perverted of them...oh, but it was so perfect. Raphael relaxes his throat and hums quietly along Gabriel's length, savoring his shivers and noises and words of humiliation or praise that seem to come from him without much of a second thought. He squeaks and whines around the dick in his mouth as Michael thrusts into him, and as Uriel works her soft hand around his achingly hard length. If this is some sort of dream, he doesn't want to wake up.

Unfortunately, however, all good things do have to come to an end, even if it's for a little bit.

Their shenanigans come to a halt in an instant as someone from outside of Gabriel's office starts to open the door.

Michael stops moving. Gabriel tenses up so hard he might as well have become one with his desk. The color drains from Raphael's face, Uriel's jaw goes slack. All four stare at the door like deer in headlights as the office door slowly opens.

"Gabriel, you cunt," Michael hisses under her breath, giving the angel in question a venomous glare, "I thought you might have locked it?!"

Gabriel swallows uneasily and cannot come up with a response besides "Well, it was supposed to be."

The angel in the doorway is, in a word, nonplussed to see the four in the state that they are. He's got a soft figure, round-bodied but on the tall side, and on his head is the loveliest nest of golden-white curls Raphael has ever seen. Upon seeing the four archangels in their collective state of indecency, his mouth falls into an o-shape and Raphael's heart sinks when he realizes just who's walked in on them.

There was, for a while, a particular angel Raphael had had his eyes on, especially back in the days of Eden. Time progressed and work kept him very busy, but he supposed that even after all this time his feelings for that angel hadn't faded, even after he and the other archangels' relationship developed into whatever weird clusterfuck of a 'relationship' they were now. His name was Aziraphale, a soft-hearted principality whose job was to guard Eden's gates, and it was with a great deal of dread that Raphael realizes that was exactly who walked in on them.

"Oh," The principality squeaks, green eyes wide in shock, "Oh my goodness. I suppose I'm interrupting something, aren't I."

The four archangels on the floor exchange looks.

"You tell me, pal." Uriel deadpans, unamused.

Raphael feels so embarrassed he could die and covers his face with his hands.

"Goodness, I--I'm so, so sorry. I'll just come back later--" Aziraphale stammers, his face now bright red.

"Just a moment, Aziraphale," Gabriel interjects calmly as though he weren't currently stark naked and fucking another angel on the floor of his office, earning him two looks that screamed 'what the fuck are you doing?!' from Uriel and Michael. "What are you doing up here in the first place?"

"Um," Aziraphale is looking anywhere but at the four angels, "Well. The Jophiel sent me with some paperwork xe needed you to look over, but I see you're currently--that is to say, you're rather occupied at the moment, so I'll just pop by with it later if it's not a problem."

It is worth mentioning at this point that Gabriel, as well as the other two archangels, have always been fully aware of the fact that Raphael had interest in Aziraphale. They were also aware that these feelings held even as Raphael indulged in some of the more carnal activities available to them whenever the four mutually agreed on it. So, after Gabriel had a chat with Jophiel and a mysterious malfunction with the lock on his door, everything was right where they needed to be for Aziraphale to just happen to catch Raphael in a vulnerable state as this, and then...

And then.

Gabriel, as batshit insane as he knows he's about to sound, asks a question that makes Raphael freeze like a statue.

"I see." He says with a pleasant smile. "Well, since you've come all the way up here, why not join us?"

Time comes to a halt with that one sentence. Raphael looks up at Gabriel, shocked, and mouths 'The fuck is wrong with you, maniac!?' Uriel and Michael seem to silently share this sentiment, though their confusion doesn't even hold a candle to how embarrassed the redhead underneath the both of them is.

Aziraphale is, once again, very much so taken aback. "I beg your pardon." The sentence comes out as more of a statement and his eyes flicker down to the four of them, landing on Raphael specifically. The redhead refuses to make eye contact with him.

"You heard me." Gabriel looks over to his companions-of-sorts. "I think we have space for another. What do you guys think?"

Michael and Uriel think it over for a moment.

"I mean..." Uriel shrugs and Michael is just as indifferent though she doesn't say anything. "I guess?" She can see how embarrassed Raphael is and, frankly, she's horny enough that her only objection to adding another party to the mix is how he feels about it. "You good down there, Raph?

Raphael winces. On one hand, he's absolutely dying of embarrassment. On the other, shit, at least it was Aziraphale of all angels who'd walked in on them like this. Admittedly, he'd thought of having sexual relations with that angel before, but he never thought he'd actually have a chance at it.

Well, if Uriel and Michael weren't objecting to it, and Gabriel was openly inviting it...fuck it. Why not?

The archangel swallows his pride, smiles awkwardly, and nods up at Uriel. "Yep. I'm good. Just a tad flustered, that's all." He flashes an 'okay' sign with one hand. "I mean...if you guys want to, then I guess we can."

"Wonderful! Aziraphale?" Four sets of archangel eyes look up at the angel in the door. "If you're going to do this, at least close the door behind you. It would be even more awkward if anyone else were to see this mess, right?"

Aziraphale's blush doesn't waver in the slightest and he ekes out a 'yeah' before stepping in and shutting the door tightly behind him. Raphael's heart skips. So they were going to do this after all. He tries to sit up, but Gabriel presses a hand to his chest and holds him down.

"I assume you know Raphael, right?" Gabriel says, smile becoming a bit more devious, and motions for Aziraphale to come closer.

"Oh," The principality nods shakily, "Yes, I do. Um, should I take this off?" Aziraphale asks, pulling at his coat.

Gabriel chuckles. "Take it all off. That's the point of stuff like this, isn't it?"

Aziraphale swallows uneasily and discards his coat on the floor, then kneels down on the floor next to the four of them with a chuckle. "You'll have to forgive me," He says sheepishly, "I'm really not very experienced with this sort of thing."

"That's fine," Raphael blurts, "I can show you the ropes if you want."

Silence. It takes a moment for the redhead to realize what he's just said and he notices Gabriel is looking down at him in a way that can only be described as smug.

"Do you mean that?" Aziraphale asks, a shy smile on his face. Not one word in any language he knew could Raphael find to describe how badly he wanted to kiss that angel right then. "Because that would be a welcome help."

Raphael awkwardly gets up and Gabe practically shoves him at Aziraphale, the redhead almost falling into Aziraphale's lap. "Oh, dear," He felt his cheeks go hot and an embarrassed smile form on his face, "Sorry. I guess I'm still a bit shaken up from having you walk in."

"Oh, no, it's quite alright," Aziraphale sounds as though he's not entirely there and Raphael realizes right away that his eyes are on the archangel's effort. "Oh, goodness, Raphael. Have you always been this lovely?"

Uriel awws obnoxiously and Raphael suppresses the urge to sock her for now. Instead, he shakily raises a hand to Aziraphale's chin and tips it upward. "I'm quite unsure, but I'd like to ask the same thing for you."

Aziraphale giggles. "But I'm not even undressed."

"Yet." And with that, Raphael tenderly presses his lips to Aziraphale's, eyes shutting in bliss and his body heating up like it hadn't in millennia. Goodness, how could such a simple action invoke such a deep and wonderful pleasure? Kissing never felt this good with the other archangels. Raphael shivers and apprehensively moves his hands down to Aziraphale's waistcoat, toying with the buttons and trying to undo them until the principality pulls back.

"What are you doing?" He asks in a quiet voice, eyes wide in apprehension and excitement.

"Just helping get some layers out of the way, that's all." Raphael hears a noise behind him and sees in the corner of his eye that Gabriel has started going at it with Uriel and Michael. The former two angels are kissing and biting on Michael's neck, the latter sighing happily and resting her head back to allow easier access.

"Is this something you four do often?" Aziraphale inquires, peeking over at the threesome as well. Raphael shrugs.

"Not 'often'. Just to let off some steam from time to time." He responds, smiling shyly. "You're a good kisser."

Aziraphale's cheeks pink. "Really? I don't really do it all that often..."

"But still, it's wonderful, kissing you." Raphael admits. Just as his body is bared for Aziraphale in this room, so too are his feelings bared, and he can tell the principality is more than a little flustered by this.

"Really." He smiles coyly, "Then why don't we do it a bit more, dear, and perhaps you can help me out of these clothes while we're at it."

"Yes, please." And just like that, Raphael's mouth is against Aziraphale's for a second time, his tongue lightly prodding against the principality's lips as he works with nimble fingers to undo the other's waistcoat. Nervously, Aziraphale relents into the kiss, allowing Raphael to slip his tongue inside. The principality's mouth is so warm, so inviting, that it sends another shiver up Raphael's spine and he sucks the other's bottom lip as he finishes undoing the vest. Aziraphale shrugs the waistcoat off into the floor and Raphael immediately works at undoing his bow tie, followed by the top few buttons of the principality's shirt.

"My, my, Raphael," Aziraphale murmurs breathily against the archangel's cheek. "You're rather eager for this, aren't you?" It's then that Raphael realizes that his erection is pressed against Aziraphale's thigh and stomach in a very indecent way and the archangel's face goes red as his hair.

"Oh," He stammers, "Goodness, I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize—"

"Shh." Aziraphale presses a finger to his lips. "Don't apologize. It's lovely, dear." The 'dear' sends a blissful shiver up Raphael's back. "May I touch it?" He asks, hand ghosting over the archangel's thigh.

"Yes," Breathes Raphael, "Oh, Aziraphale, you can touch wherever you'd like."

Aziraphale smiles pleasantly and does exactly that, wrapping his hands around the redhead's erection and giving a firm, slow rub from the base to the tip. Raphael shudders and bites his lower lip.

"Is that quite alright, dear boy?" Asks the principality and Raphael nods. Fuck, his hands are so soft and his grip on him so pleasurable he might just cum right then and there. "Good. I wouldn't want to hurt you, after all."

Raphael sighs again and his work on Aziraphale's button-up is interrupted as the principality moves his hand back down to the base, spreading precum leaking from the archangel's tip all along the length of his cock. It feels wonderful and he shudders in delight as Aziraphale continues to work his hand around his length with all the care in the world. Raphael pulls the collar of Aziraphale's shirt aside and presses soft kisses to his neck, making the principality sigh softly against his shoulder.

"Goodness," He murmurs, "I never thought something like that could feel so delightful."

Raphael smiles into his neck, overjoyed because he knows the pleasure Aziraphale feels is all thanks to him. "I can make it feel even better if you'd like." He says, a little hopefully, and Aziraphale looks up at him with those big green eyes that makes his heart melt.

"That would be wonderful," He whispers, smiling, and he lets Raphael remove his shirt. Aziraphale's body is stunning, his chest bearing a fine layer of blonde hair and his belly soft and round. Given the chance, Raphael could spend ages like this with him, worshipping that body and making sure the other knows just how enamored with this form he is.

"Gorgeous," Raphael utters, and begins to kiss from Aziraphale's collarbone down to his pectorals. The principality bites his lip, clearly very unaccustomed to such contact, but any protests he might have uttered in the moment dissolve with Raphael taking one of his perked nipples in his mouth and working at it with his tongue.

"Oh," Aziraphale squeaks out, head rolling back and his mouth hanging open, "Raphael."

The way that word is uttered shreds the last of the archangel's resolve and he abruptly shoves Aziraphale onto his back, fumbling with the fly and buttons of the other's pants. Aziraphale has, it seems, chosen a more masculine effort for this event, as Raphael notes when he feels the press of an erection straining against the fly as it comes undone. The principality is surprised by this at first, then rather embarrassed.

"Terribly sorry," He murmurs, averting his eyes, "It seems I've gotten rather worked up myself."

"Is that not the point of this, angel?" Raphael asks, and his voice comes out huskier than either expected, low and drenched in arousal. Aziraphale shudders and his cheeks pink.

"I suppose it is, isn't it." He smiles cheekily and wraps his hand around Raphael's length again. "I am terribly inexperienced, though, dear boy, so I ask that you tell me how we can do this properly without anything uncomfortable occurring."

The archangel thinks it over for a moment. Having sex with someone was never really a truly flawless experience, as he knew from all the times he'd slept with the other archangels; noses and foreheads were often knocked, certain positions got cramped and awkward fast, orgasm faces weren't always as nice as pornography wanted you to believe they were. Raphael gets an idea and straddles Aziraphale's thighs.

"Well," He says, a little nervously, "We could do it like this?"

The principality rests his hands just below Raphael's ass and the touch to the archangel's skin makes his whole body feel like it's on fire. "That would be nice, I think. I'd like to see you for this."

Raphael blushes and tucks a curled strand of red hair behind his ear. "That's sweet," He mumbles, and Aziraphale gently kisses the corner of his mouth. A quick miracle of his later and the principality is bare from the waist down, his erection barely brushing the side of Raphael's and the contact makes him jolt.

"Oh," The archangel can't help but glance down south and is once again enamored by the sight of Aziraphale finally in the nude, bashfully looking to the side with a grin. "Aziraphale, you're marvelous." He breathed. Aziraphale's eyes met his, half-obscured by the principality's blonde eyelashes that gave him an innocently flirtatious look.

"Am I? That's sweet of you, dear." He tightened his grip on Raphael's thighs and the other shivered. "So what exactly did you have in mind for this, if anything?"

Raphael hums, kissing the other's cheek. He can't help it; Aziraphale is just so soft, like he was made this way specifically to drive the archangel mad. "I will do whatever you'd like me to, Aziraphale."

The principality's breath hitches. "Oh." His pupils are wide, his breathing uneven and shaky. "Then, is doing it like this alright?"

His erection is dangerously close to Raphael's hole and the archangel doesn't waste a second in adjusting them so the head is almost right there. "Perfect." Raphael says goes to lower himself onto the other only to be stopped by Aziraphale placing a hand to his chest.

"Wait," The principality says apprehensively, "I don't want to hurt you."

Raphael wants to tell him he won't and to put it in him already, but he wasn't about to say no to Aziraphale. "Well, then, if you're so concerned about that..." He says, putting two fingers in his mouth and wetting them sufficiently with his tongue. The look that crosses Aziraphale's face is priceless, sitting somewhere between shock and lust, and the archangel gives him something like a smile through the fingers in his mouth. "Hm? This isn't a problem, is it?" He asks, removing the digits from his mouth and he can feel the string of salive connecting his lips to his hand. Aziraphale blanches.

"Oh, no, it's not a problem at all..." He trails off as Raphael nods and moves his fingers between his legs, leaning back to give the principality a better view. "Goodness, Raphael, what are you doing?!"

"What? You were worried about hurting me, angel, so I'm preparing myself a little."

Aziraphale's eyes are glued to the one straddling his lap. Gabriel's seed—and possibly some of Michael's, as well—drips down his inner thighs and into his hand as he pumps two fingers in and out of himself, painting a most seductive portrait of one of the highest archangels in Heaven, filthy and debauched before a low-ranking Principality. It's in that moment Aziraphale realizes he's never wanted anything more than he wants this filthy angel in his lap with his cock buried deep inside.

"Take them out," Aziraphale's tone is much more forceful than he expected, and Raphael freezes in awe like he's just been surprised with some delectable sort of dessert. "Please. I—Raphael, I can't-"

The redhead shuts him up with a kiss, his tongue slithering inside and exploring the principality's sweet mouth. He pulls back after a few seconds, not caring in the slightest about the saliva running down his chin now, and smiles lopsidedly.

"If you so insist." He removes his fingers and adjusts his hips once again, so when Aziraphale's resolve finally snaps like a frayed rope in the next few moments and thrusts up into him, he comes in at the perfect angle to make the angel cry out. "Oh, Aziraphale!"

The principality grits his teeth, burying his face against Raphael's neck. "Do forgive me if I'm being too rough, darling," He apologizes through ragged panting as he thrusts up into the redhead's ass, "I just can't hold back! Oh," His haw tightens as Raphael decides he'll take initiative, thank you very much, and using his thighs and hips generously begins to maneuver himself up and down, up and down on Aziraphale's cock. "Oh, Raphael, good L—" He stops himself before he can allow himself to blaspheme in the presence of not one but four archangels of the Lord and instead opts to bite down upon the tender flesh of his neck instead. Raphael throws his head back with a guttural moan, overwhelmed by how good it all feels.

"Ooh, someone's having fun!" Uriel teases. She and Gabriel have Michael sandwiched between them, Michael having changed her effort back to a vulva and Uriel having changed hers to a penis. Michael seems to be having the time of her life, being penetrated in both openings by the other two, and for a second Raphael had actually managed to forget they were right there. "Gabriel, looks like you're gonna have to up your game~"

"Shut up," Gabriel grunts, pushing himself into Michael's ass all the way to the hilt. Michael groans, her eyes rolling back, and falls forward limply against Uriel, the other angel running fingers through her disheveled hair and murmuring words of praise as she fucks up into her pussy.

"So good, honey," Uriel encourages, "You're doing - swell job, taking both of us inside you like this. That's it, gorgeous, moan just a little louder for me. There we are. Oh, Michael. So perfect."

"Goodness," Aziraphale whispers into Aziraphale's neck, "Are they always...you know, so lovey?"

Raphael winces as the principality's cock hits a particular angle that makes him feel dizzy. "I guess," He manages to slur out "When we're not too busy."

"Oh, Raphael," The principality tangles his fingers in the other's long, curly locks of hair, "This is simply incredible. You're magnificent, dear boy, please don't stop."

The redhead moans, his neglected cock moving with him in time with his bouncing on Aziraphale's own length. "Azi—" He chokes out, hardly able to form words at this point. Aziraphale's dick, for what it somewhat lacks in length, is thick and by the divine spirit does it feel perfectly sinful inside of him. He hasn't felt this stretched out, this thoroughly used in ages and it feels nothing short of fantastic. Aziraphale's breath hitches and a second later a warm, soft hand has itself wrapped around the redhead's dick.

"Anything you want, dear boy," Aziraphale murmurs and with a few strokes Raphael is screaming his name, vision going white and his body succumbing to tremors so strong he has to stop and lean against the principality for support. It's so humiliating, honestly, spurting cum everywhere for a second time after hardly being touched, but the archangel's head is too far gone for such a thought to process as anything further than radio static in a sea of short-circuiting neurons. A few seconds later and he has his composure mostly intact, and he sits up to see he's accidentally cum all over Aziraphale's stomach. His face, if it is even possible at this point, goes redder in embarrassment but the principality shuts him up before he can even apologize.

"Oh, Raphael," He says with a smile almost inappropriately sweet for the situation, "You've done marvelously, dear."

"Ah, but," Gabriel interjects even as he's still in the middle of screwing Michael, who is currently tongue deep in Uriel's mouth for the umpteenth time today. "Isn't he forgetting something, Aziraphale? You've not yet finished, have you?"

Raphael bites his lip and he realizes it's true, Aziraphale hasn't cum inside him yet, and the thought almost makes him start moving on the other again before the principality pushes him onto his back.

"I think," He says, still in that sugar-sweet tone of voice that makes Raphael's adrenaline levels spike, "You've been in control long enough, haven't you, dear boy?"

Raphael stares up at him, eyes wide in shock, pupils so dilated with love and lust that his irises are nothing more than thin gold bands. "Y-yeah," He manages to sputter, "I guess so."

"That's it, Aziraphale!" Uriel cheers.

"Show him who's b—ohhh!" Michael's encouragement is interrupted by a particularly strong thrust on both Gabriel and Uriel's parts. "You're both gonna break me..." She groans but makes no effort to stop them from continuing.

Raphael and Aziraphale hold eye contact for a few awkward seconds before the principality places his hands on the other's inner thighs, gently spreading his legs. "May I?"

The redhead smirks. "May as well, since we're down here."

And with that, Aziraphale is back inside him and Raphael is seeing stars once again as he lets the other fuck into him, the obscene sound of skin on skin filling the room and the archangel feeling as though he is nothing more than a mere doll for his principality to fuck into until he's satisfied.

Michael, meanwhile, has been satisfied three times over now and her partners at least twice. She lets out a particularly pained whine, placing a hand to Uriel's chest.

"S-stop..." She pants. "Fuck. Holy water."

At the sound of their safeword both Gabriel and Uriel cease to move, removing themselves from her without a second thought.

"Are you alright, Mikey?" Uriel asks, wrapping her arms around the other tenderly. Michael sighs.

"Bit overstimulated is all," She hums contentedly into Uriel's collarbone and turns to watch Aziraphale and Raphael still going at it. "Good gracious, they're insatiable."

"Maybe it's a good thing Aziraphale showed up, then," Gabriel remarks, settling down next to the pair, and leans in a bit closer to them to say in a hushed voice, "Between us three, I have a feeling they'll be seeing a lot more of each other from here on."

Uriel snickers and Michael only chuckles weakly.

"Oh, shoot," The latter huffs and looks down at herself. "It appears you've both made quite the mess of me."

And this certainly holds true; seminal fluid from both Uriel and Gabriel trickles down the insides of her legs onto the former's thigh. Uriel only shrugs at the sight and holds the other closer.

"I'd miracle you clean, Michael, but this is a sight I don't think I'd want to stop seeing anytime soon." Gabriel remarks with a perverted smile and the angel in question shoots him an unamused look.

"If I wasn't spent right now, Gabriel, I might just slap you."

"Hm...maybe next time we do this, dear." Teases the other. Michael simply rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to the other two.

"Az...Aziraph...oh, fu—" Raphael's would-be profanity is cut off by another forceful kiss from Aziraphale, the other angel shifting one of the redhead's legs so it's resting against his shoulder. He's already about to spill on himself for the third time his oversensitive body is driving him mad, his skin flushed red and covered in a thin layer of sweat from exertion. Aziraphale plunders him relentlessly, stopping only when his body tenses up and he groans lowly into Raphael's mouth as he spills inside. The twitching of the other's length inside as hot cum paints his walls white again practically drives the redhead mad and his own cock weakly manages a few spurts of his own before the archangel finally goes limp from exhaustion.

"Oh, dear," Aziraphale mutters, pulling out of Raphael. "I didn't overdo it, did I?"

Raphael shakes his head weakly. "'S fine, angel," He says with a satisfied smile, eyelids barely managing to hold open. Aziraphale returns the smile and gives the archangel a chaste kiss on the mouth.

"That was wonderful, dear boy," He praises, then looks over to Gabriel and the other two. "Um, and thank you, Gabriel, for allowing me to do this."

Gabriel waves him off dismissively. "It's nothing, don't worry about it. That was a lot of fun, though. If you'd ever want to do that again..." He trails off, looking down at Raphael, who appears to have fallen asleep on the floor. Not that angels needed sleep, mind you, but if anything that should have shown just how spent the redhead really must have been for it to just happen. "Oh, dear. Raph down."

Aziraphale looks at the sleeping angel and chuckles to himself. Raphael looks genuinely contented, and the innocent smile on his face is enough to rouse a feeling of butterflies inside him as though he hadn't just finished having sex with him literally seconds earlier. "Oh, goodness. Will he be alright?"

Uriel nods. "Fine. We'll get him taken care of, don't you worry about it."

"Just leave the paperwork Jophiel gave you on my desk on your way out, that's all I ask." Gabriel yawns, his clothing all returning to his form as though they'd never been removed in the first place with the help of a quick miracle. Aziraphale follows suit, dressing himself with the snap of a finger and cleaning the cum off his stomach in the process.

Though, if he's really being honest, it's a feeling he finds himself missing almost right away...

"Damn," Uriel remarks after Aziraphale left, "What a show that was."

Gabriel looks over at the unconscious Raphael on the floor. "He looked really happy just now, having that principality with him." He remarks.

Michael scoffs. "Yeah, no shit. They've had eyes for one another since Eden." She smiles. "It's good to see they get on that well, though. 'S cute."

"I was just thinking that, myself." Uriel said, redressing herself with the snap of her fingers. "Want me to get your clothes for you, too, Mikey?"

Michael tried to sit herself up and winces. "That would be wonderful, dear," She says, "I don't think I'll be walking for quite some time."

The three archangels shared a laugh.

"Raphael!"

Some days later, Raphael is going about business as usual in Heaven, the group fuck he’d just partaken in with his fellow angels still fresh in his mind as ever. He'd received plenty of teasing from Gabriel over having fallen asleep after being fucked senseless by that principality Aziraphale, but really, could he be blamed for such a thing? Perhaps, Raphael thinks, he'll have to top Gabriel one of these days and show him just what there is about taking it in the ass that knocks you out so quickly afterwards.

The shout of his name is heard in one of Heaven's plazas and Raphael turns to see Aziraphale, standing bashfully some feet away from him and waving. Raphael's face immediately goes hot; he hasn't actually seen Aziraphale since the orgy, and man does seeing that angel's face now provoke some emotions in him. He attempts to keep his cool as he saunters over to where the principality stands, smiling as calmly as he can manage.

"Hey, Aziraphale," He remarks with a casual wave. "How are you doing?"

"Quite well," Aziraphale responds, "And you? You, er, seemed a little out of it the other day after..." He trails off, face pinking considerably. Raphael's heart thuds against his sternum. Fuck, this guy is just too cute!

"Oh, me?" A significant amount of Raphael's cool suddenly develops a massive crack in it. "Don't worry about me, Aziraphale, everything's fine! Was just out of commission for a while is all, but now I'm back at it and better than ever!"

"That's a relief." Aziraphale smiles sweetly. "I was worried I really had hurt you for a moment there." A pause. "So..."

"So?" Raphael waits for the other to continue, suddenly feeling rather uneasy.

"Is that...maybe..." Aziraphale refuses to make eye contact and is blushing madly, "Something we could try again? Maybe just...us?" He sputters, "I mean, surely I understand if you wouldn't want to, and I certainly don't know what your arrangement with the other three archangels is so I don't know it they'd be alright with it but—"

"Aziraphale." Raphael cuts off the other's spiel prematurely, shocked at what he's hearing. Aziraphale is actually asking him, to his face, to have sex with him again?! Someone pinch me, he thinks, because surely this must be a dream! "That...sounds lovely, actually. I'll talk with the others about it but I doubt they'll mind."

"Oh." The principality processes this and smiles. "Oh. Erm, my apologies if I'm prying, but are the four of you...romantically involved?"

Raphael exhales sharply. "Tough question, really. I'm not sure what it is we've got going on, though I know for a sure fact Uriel and Michael have a thing going on." He waves dismissively. "It's weird. We don't try to think about it too much, we just sort of do whatever whenever we feel like it." He pauses. "They wouldn't mind if we started our own thing, though. I've asked about it before."

"Asked." Repeats Aziraphale. "Wow. I...I didn't think you'd actually—"

"Think about that sort of thing between us?" The redhead chuckles, smiling lopsidedly. "Oh, angel. The things I've thought about between us," He says, face betraying his tone and developing a rather bashful-looking blush.

Aziraphale's breath hitches. "Do tell me more, Raphael." He murmurs, unconsciously leaning closer to the other.

"Oh, don't worry," Raphael reassures, "I'll tell you allll about it the next time we—"

"Hey! Raphael! Get over here!" A snide voice calls out from somewhere in the plaza and Raphael feels like punching something.

"Oh, for heaven's sake—" The redhead scowls and turns to see Jophiel staring at him from across the way with a scowl on xir face. "What do you want?"

"For you to quit messing around with that poor principality and get over here!" Jophiel demanded, xir hair obscuring xir eyes as always but xir frustration obvious from her body language and mouth. "Cassiel wants you for something!"

"Cassiel!" Grumbles Raphael. "If Cassiel needs me so bloody badly she can come get me herself..." He turns back to Aziraphale. "Terribly sorry about this, but I must go."

Aziraphale nods in understanding. "It's alright," He says, "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah," Raphael gives him another sweet smile. "See you later."

Aziraphale gives the archangel a quick peck on the cheek before he leaves and it keeps his spirits up for the entire rest of the week.


	2. making amends with the other side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere off in an obscure corner of Hell, Beelzebub fucks Gabriel senseless.  
Because, you know. Who wouldn't, given the chance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeahhh so. i think it's safe to say this def won't be my last fic w gabriel, so. fellow gabefuckers, rise up.

"_Fuck_!" Gabriel's head rolls back against the bed as Beelzebub sits himself all the way down on his dick. His wrists, bound above his head to the rusted frame of the bed with his silk tie, struggle and tug at their binds to no avail.

"T_zzz_k," The demon's eyes are bright with mischief, lips drawn into a smile that is anything but friendly. "What foul language for an _angel_. Whatever happened to keeping your mouth pure for the Lord?"

Gabriel moans, eyes rolling back and his length twitching hard inside of him, and Beelzebub smirks in satisfaction. "Y-you leave Her name out of this, f-foul demon."

Beelzebub bites down on the soft flesh of his neck, letting their teeth dig in and drawing gold-colored blood before lapping at it with their tongue. The angel keens in pleasure again.

"But you _like_ when I talk like that, don't you?" They tease, intentionally tightening their cunt around him as they say so. Their cold blue eyes flicker up to look at him and Gabriel refuses to make direct eye contact. All he can manage to choke out are a few incomprehensible mewls and the demon uses one hand to forcefully grab him by the chin. "_Zzzay it, Gabriel._" They snarl, sharp teeth centimeters away from the lobe of his ear.

Gabriel cries out, "Yes! I do, s-so much!" Beelz smiles and sits upright, raising their hips up and then slamming them back down against him. The angel's eyes squeeze shut and he sobs, the burst of pleasure so much for him and yet not nearly enough.

"You aren't about to cum _already_, are you?" The demon teases, intentionally tightening themselves around the angel again. "I don't ever recall giving you permi_zzz_ion to do _zz_o."

The angel tenses beneath him and whines. "No..." It's clearly a lie and Beelzebub, being the sadistic fuck he knows and loves, tilts their head to the side with a smirk.

"Heh. Good." And with that, they rest their hands on his chest, digging their unnaturally pointed nails in as they start to ride him without a shred of mercy. Their backside and thighs make the most undignified slapping sounds against Gabriel's hips and the angel keens, eyes rolling back again. Beelzebub lets out a long, exaggerated moan just to watch the other squirm, and leans back down to whisper in his ear, "Oh, Gabe, what a filthy fucking angel you are. You've let me do _zz_o much to you already, _zz_itting back and taking eeeeverything I've given you." They growl lowly into his ears, their claw-like nails digging into his sides. "You're a fucking _zzzlut_, Gabriel."

The angel groans and not even a second later loses control, hot seed spilling inside of Beelzebub's cunt. "Y-yes," He whines, tears of pleasure rolling down the sides of his face. "I am, I am, only for you, Beelz."

Beelzebub stops moving, their eyes going wide as they let Gabriel finish inside them. They looks up at him, their cheeks going red as soon as they see the look on the angel's face; he's smiling, cheeks wet with tears and affection in his eyes. Despite all they've done so far, all the biting and roughing-up and nasty words on their part, Gabriel's still looking at them like _that_, and it makes the demon feel hot in a way they don't quite want to address right now.

"What?" Gabriel asks, out of breath.

"Nothing," Beelzebub snaps in response.

"I'm not doing anything wrong, am I?" The angel asks, quiet and nervous. It's enough to make even the Prince of Hell themselves go soft inside, and they looks away.

"Nah."

"Is someone mad because I finished without permission?" Gabriel teases, violet eyes twinkling. Fuck, Beelzebub thinks, he's got zero right to be as cute as he is right now.

"For _Zzz_atan's sake, Gabriel, you're _zz_uch a powerbottom." Beelzebub rolls their eyes and presses their mouth to the other side of his neck for but a _second_ before parting their lips and biting down. The angel groans, leaning into the press of their teeth on his neck and bucks his hips up into them. Beelzebub chooses to ignore this in favor of letting their jaw lock as they begin moving their hips again. Gabriel groans and the demon shudders as they can feel the vibrations against their mouth.

"Perhap_zz_," The demon snarls into his ear as they fuck themselves on him relentlessly, "Next time we do thi_zz_ I'll make a different _zz_ort of effort, ju_zz_t so I can fuck you senseless and make you _cry_. Do you want that? Do you want me to u_zz_e you like a toy?"

Gabriel keens and screws his eyes shut, nodding desperately. His cock is twitching against the demons walls and, they think rather smugly, he won't last another second at this rate.

"Or, maybe," Beelzebub continues, "You can make your_zz_elf a pretty little cunt for me, and if you're good for me I can toy with it until I've had my plea_zz_ure of you." The thought makes the angel practically turn to jelly beneath them. "Oh, what a pretty _zz_ight it would be, fucking your cunt into this bed until you can't take any more."

"Oh, _fuck_! Beelz..." Moans the angel, bucking up into them again, "More, please..."

"It's _Beelzebub_," The Prince of Hell growls, biting down on a different spot of skin and eliciting another borderline scream from Gabriel, "You _brat_."

Gabriel whimpers pathetically as Beelzebub's hands move down to his ass, nails digging in and burning in the most delicious way. "I'm sorry!"

"Are you?" Questions the demon. "Are you _zz_orry for being such a brat to me? For being so disobedient and cumming without _my_ permission?" They bring one hand up to the angel's chest and pinches one nipple firmly.

"Yes!" The angel groaned, head rolling back. "Yes, yes, _yes_, Beelzebub, I'm so sorry," He rambles, slurring his words and drunk on the feeling of the demon bouncing on his cock. "I'm sorry, I'm such a slut for you, I love you so _much_, Beelz, I--"

Gabriel realizes his slip-up as soon as the words have left his mouth and his expression shifts to what one can only describe as _mortified_. Beelzebub stops as well, their eyes wide in shock and their mouth barely hanging open into a small 'o' shape.

"Did you just...?"

"Nope," Gabriel blurts, "No idea what you're talking about."

"Gabriel." Beelzebub sits fully upright, crossing their arms over their chest. The angel refuses to look directly at them. The two of them sit in silence like this for too long until Beelzebub sighs and leans forward again, this time to undo the tie wrapped around Gabriel's wrists. The angel interprets this as Beelz wanting to stop and starts to visibly panic.

"Wait, Beelzebub, I'm sorry! I didn't mean that!" He sputters. Beelzebub ignores him, letting the tie drop right next to his head. 

"Didn't you?" The demon asks quietly, not looking him in the eyes. Gabriel sits up, about to start pleading with them, only for Beelzebub to abruptly lean forward and press their lips to his in a kiss. This isn't the sort of kiss he was used to from them, either; no teeth, no tongue, just a chaste press of one mouth against the other. The angel tenses, too afraid to move anything lest he do something the demon doesn't like and spoil the moment. Tenderly, Beelzebub brings a hand up to his face and cups his cheek, not in a slap or with a firm hold but simply leaving it there, skin on skin.

Seconds later, they pull apart, Gabriel's eyes wide in shock and pale pink staining the demon's cheeks.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" They demand, snapping the angel out of his reverie.

"You _kissed_ me." Gabriel deadpans, shocked.

Beelzebub scoffs. "And what about it?" They ask indignantly.

The angel thought it over for a moment, smiles, and suddenly embraces the demon with a smile. "Aww, Beelz! I knew you were a bit of a softie inside."

"_What?!_" Snaps Beelzebub, though they make no effort to pull away from him. "Ab_zzz_olutely prepo_zzz_turou_zzz_! How _dare_ you even in_zz_inutate that I--"

Before they can finish their sentence, Gabriel presses a soft kiss to their forehead. Beelzebub freezes again, their brain short-circuiting and leaving them no choice but to enjoy the press of the angel's lips against their flesh.

"Was that alright?" Gabriel murmurs, looking down at the demon with a gentle look that makes Beelzebub feel fuzzy like earlier deep within their chest.

"Mmhm," Grumbles the demon reluctantly into Gabriel's neck. "Don't get too soft on me."

Gabriel chuckles. "I'm an angel. Loving other beings...that's our specialty, isn't it?"

"Shut up," Beelzebub rolls their eyes, but there's just enough venom to their voice for Gabriel to know they don't fully mean it. He smiles, takes them in his arms again, and tilts their chin up with one hand.

"Aww, you're cute when you're embarrassed." Teases the angel and that makes Beelzebub snap. They shove him down onto the bed with a growl, making Gabriel remember there's a part of him still inside of them.

"Don't fucking call me cute," Warns the demon, "Or I'll make you pay for it."

"Oh?" Gabriel raises an eyebrow. "How so, prince?" He teases, and _oh_, if Beelzebub wasn't ready to go to town on him then, they certainly were ready for it now.

Several hours and lots of miscellaneous noises easily mistakable for that of a murder scene later, Beelzebub and Gabriel lay side-by-side in the rickety old bed, the angel covered in bruises and bite marks and the demon comparatively unscathed but still looking exhausted as they've ever been.

"Amazing," Gabriel slurs, rolling over onto his side to face the demon. "You're wonderful, you know that?"

Beelzebub looks away, pretending they're not blushing. "Whatever. You ju_zz_t like me becau_zz_e I can get you off."

"Now, now," Chastises the angel, pulling them close in an embrace, "You know that's not true."

"Hmph."

Gabriel presses a kiss to their forehead. "I love you," He murmurs and Beelzebub huffs.

"Even after fucking in the ab_zz_olute darke_zz_t corner_zz_ of Hell, you _zz_till manage to be _zz_appy as ever." They remark flatly. The angel laughs.

"Well, of course," He says, smiling. "I'm doing this with _you,_ after all."

Beelzebub is silent for a while, laying with their forehead resting against the angel's bare, sweat-dried chest.

"Iloveyoutooyoufuckingidiot," They blurt suddenly, and Gabriel takes several seconds to process this and when he does, he gets the biggest smile on his face.

"Beelz..." He croons, running one hand through the tangled mess that is the demon's hair. 

"If you call _dare_ me _zz_weet or _zz_ome _zz_hit like that, I'm getting up and leaving right now." Threatens the demon right before they wrap their arms around Gabriel's waist, their hands resting on his back. The angel laughs.

"Sure you will, Beelz," He sighs, kissing them on the forehead again, "Sure you will."


	3. having sex next to a church

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> technically, it’s a graveyard next to a church, but who cares?
> 
> in which ligur and hastur do a bit more than just lurking together, and the genital configurations are not at all what you’d expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> depression is currently beating me with a belt just like my father used to so that’s kind of why this and all my other writing has been so half assed lately?? not that any of you would know who I really am since I’m on anon lol but uh yEAH
> 
> if this isn’t up to par that’s why,,,  
also it’s on my agenda to fix the many mistakes in chapter 1 soon dw

Two demons lurk at the edge of a graveyard.

One, with a scowl on his pale, grimy face, leans back against the bordering wall of said graveyard, smoking a cigarette. Atop his head sits a green and brown frog, lifelike in appearance but still as a statue. Another sits directly to the side of him, dark skinned but with light eyes colored an inhuman orange in the center. Atop his head is a similarly statuesque chameleon, currently colored a light grey to match the stone backing against which they sit.

The first one, cigarette still hanging from the corner of his lips, turns to the other. "You don't suppose any other demons could be passing through here tonight, d'ya, Ligur?"

Ligur thinks it over a moment and shakes his head no. "Checked in with Dagon about who's stationed where and the closest demon is across town from here." He smiles, though for a demon in his position that means merely turning the corners of his lips up just so his expression can't entirely be considered a scowl anymore. "You're getting paranoid again, Hastur."

Hastur sighed impatiently, taking a final drag of his cig. "Can ya really blame me though?" He says tensely, "The last time we tried this, that brat Eligos decided he just _had_ to unlock the broom closet as I was about to finish." His grimace intensified. Ligur scoffed.

"Yer still pressed about that?" He asked, amused. "That was ages ago!"

"Well how can I _not_ be? Never did have a reason to like that little cunt in the first place." Hastur placed the burnt-out cigarette butt on the grass and stomped it out.

Ligur leaned into his side, a little apprehensively. "Speaking o' cunts..." He looked up at Hastur with a lopsided demonic smile, which was enough to make the other's expression soften considerably.

"Unbelievable," The other grumbled, but there was a hint of a smile on his face, "Here I am goin' on a tangent about some other demon and you're still trying to get into my pants."

"That's what we're up here for, ain't it? Getting into yer pants," Ligur sat up on his knees, turning to face the other, "What sort of 'effort' were you thinking fer tonight?"

Hastur hummed. "Wouldn't you like to know." He teased, two fingers tilting the other's chin upwards slightly. Ligur was one step ahead of him, pressing their lips together without hesitation and nipping the other's bottom lip with sharpened teeth. Hastur groaned lowly, pulling Ligur by the lapels of his jacket onto his lap. Ligur ground his hips against the other's crotch, and Hastur, feeling no indicative of a bulge there, raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Hm?" The other purred, his clothed crotch pressing into Hastur's leg.

"...'S nothing." The frog demon wasn't about to tell the other they had made the same Effort that night. He wanted to keep that a surprise. "Shut up and kiss me again."

Ligur complied, his lips crashing against his partner's without hesitation, and by _Satan_ was it good. He tasted smoke in his mouth, followed immediately by the coppery trace of blood as he bit down on the other demon's bottom lip. Hastur, without even thinking about it, moved his hands up to strip the other of his trench coat, discarding the item off to the side somewhere.

"Wanna make it quick or draw it out?" Murmured Hastur into the other's ear, earning a low growl in response.

"What do you think? We've got time to ourselves, may 's well make it last." And with that, Ligur sunk his teeth into Hastur's neck, making the other keen in pleasure.

"Fuck!" The demon groaned, eyes rolling back and digging his nails into Ligur's hips.

"'S the plan, ain't it?" The other demon pulled back with a smile, licking ichor from his lips.

"You are absolutely insufferable," Growled Hastur, nipping into his lover's neck himself and pulling up the bottom of Ligur's shirt. "Ya know that?"

Ligur hummed, leaning back just enough to take off his shirt. "If I wasn't, we'd not be here, I think."

"Maybe." Something painfully sappy came to mind that Hastur, under no normal circumstances, would think to say to the other, and he impulsively decided to let it slip just this once. "There's nowhere else I'd wanna be, though, yknow? Here, doing this."

The two are quiet after he said this, Ligur halfway between pulling his shirt off and discarding it entirely. "Ya mean that?"

Hastur scoffed, digging his nails into the other's sides again. "Maybe." He pouted slightly, realizing in retrospect how disgustingly _romantic_ and very un-demon-like that sounded.

"Who are ya and what've ya done to Hastur?" Teased the other, pressing a chaste kiss to the other's forehead. He was pleased when Hastur at least relented enough to allow him to remove the other's jacket and top, so now at least the two of them were both topless. "We've both got a bit too much clothing on, don't ya think?"

A sly smile crawled across the other demon's lips. "Yeah, I think so." And without another word between the two, Hastur miracled away their pants, leaving the pair in only their boxers with a faint wetness pressed between the two of them.

Ligur hissed at the sudden sensation of cool night air against his skin. "That impatient?" He teased, earning himself a neck bite from Hastur. "Ooh..."

"Noises like that," Hastur growled into his neck. "Suit you much better than words."

The other demon shivered and returned with a bite of his own against Hastur's collarbone. "Speak for yourself," He smiled into the broken flesh at the keen that left his lover's mouth.

"Dammit," He groaned, attempting to rut himself against Ligur from below (though it was certainly worth mentioning he currently lacked the equipment to be successful), "You're fucking _soaked_. I can feel it already." Hastur looked down and felt as though he'd discorporate on the spot at the sight of the noticeable wet patch in the other's boxers.

"Yer not exactly dry yourself, you know." Teased Ligur. "I'm surprised that's the effort ya chose to go with for this."

"Wanted to surprise you, that's all. Are we doing it like this?" The other asked, leaning back against the low stone wall of the graveyard. Ligur assessed the position they were in, him straddling the other demon and their respective parts close enough to one another that they could feasibly get off if they so desired to.

"Sure, why not?" The demon stood and, making something of a show out of doing so, pulled off his boxers. "Never done it this way before."

Hastur couldn't control himself and whistled upon seeing his lover finally, _finally_ in the nude. His thighs were slick with fluid, no doubt from somewhere just a bit further north, and that beautiful cunt Hastur was so lucky to be acquainted with looked good enough to eat. Hastur considered for a moment doing exactly that, pinning the other down and having a taste, but he wanted to be pleasured himself a bit too much to handle such a thing at the moment.

"Damn," He smiled smugly, more than pleased with the sight before him. "Nice."

"Sure." Ligur rolled his eyes, dismissive of praise as usual. "Let's see what you've got, then." He knelt down and, tucking his thumbs beneath the waistband of the other's underwear, pulled the garment off. His eyes went wide at the thin trail of slick connected from the fabric to Hastur's cunt and Ligur bit the inside of his cheek.

"See anything you like?" Teased Hastur, to which the other responded by slamming his lips against his lover's so hard their teeth knock. Ligur arranged himself so one leg rested underneath one of Hastur's and the other wrapped around his waist.

"Oh, I see a number of things I like on you," Purred Ligur, pitching his hips forward just so he could finally feel the other's long-untouched wetness pressed against him and their breaths hitched simultaneously.

"_Satan_, that's good," Hastur groaned, biting Ligur's lower lip so hard it drew a bit of ichor. Ligur's fingers tangled themselves in his lover's hair tightly as he began to rut against him. The feeling of their cunts sliding together created enough pleasure to nearly blind them both, and neither of the two demons could control themselves as they moaned into a number of sloppy, wet kisses they shared as they fucked.

"Ligur..." Hastur keened, his head rolling back against the stone wall. Ligur took this as an opportunity to bite down on the other's neck, the feeling of which went straight to his lover's pussy and almost pushed him over the edge right there. "Oh, _fuck_!" Instinctively he grabbed onto the other's back, nails digging in and scraping against flesh in such a deliciously painful way that the other demon saw stars.

"Ha-Hastur," Ligur's whole body began to tremble under the effort of his ministrations, a number of curses spilling from his mouth, "Fucking hell, more! Rough me up _more_, Hastur, _fuck!_"

Hastur purred, "You got it," and dragged sharp nails down the other's back as he gently kissed a spot on his neck he'd previously bitten down on so hard it left teeth marks. Ligur rolled his head back with a high-pitched moan and a second later the other demon felt the telltale pulse of his lover orgasming against him, wetting the space between them even more. He shuddered, allowing Hastur to hold him through his release, and the feeling of it against such an already sensitive and well-stimulated place made the other demon wince in anticipation for his own orgasm.

"Nearly there," He whined into the shell of Ligur's ear in time with his lover's continued movements against him, "Fuck, fuck, Ligur, I'm cumming, I--" Hastur drew in a sharp breath and groaned into the other's neck, digging his nails into the other's back again as he came hard and long against the other's pussy. Finally, finally he'd gotten the release he'd been _craving_ from his lover for ages now, and it felt absolutely hellish in the best way. Shuddering against one another, Ligur's movements waning into halfhearted hip rolls and finally ceasing altogether, the pair fell limply back against the wall of the cemetery, sweating and wrapped up in one another's arms. It took quite a while before either were able to speak, both demons panting heavily from exertion and the dampness between their thighs soon growing chilly from the night air.

"That..." Ligur began.

"Was fucking _incredible._" Hastur finished, a satisfied smile on his face. 

"You knew exactly what I was going to say," His lover pressed his lips against the other's neck in a chaste kiss. The pair laid together that way for a short while, basking in the night air and the dark solitude of the graveyard until the sweat on them had dried and a good deal of their energy had returned.

"Reckon we should head back downstairs now?" Ligur questioned, barely raising his head from its spot against Hastur's shoulder.

"Nah," The other responded, one hand slowly creeping down the curve of Ligur's back to grab his ass. "I'm not done with ya quite yet."

Ligur grinned mischievously. "Just what I wanted to hear."

Hastur tutted. "Insatiable," He teased, pressing another kiss to Ligur's lips.

"You like it."

"You're damn right I do."

* * *

"There you are!" Dagon pushed her way through the crowd of slow-moving demons, ever an annoyance to her when she had a message to spread from Lord Beelzebub to one of zir underlings. She skittered to a halt behind the two Dukes of Hell and blanched when the pair turned and she saw the state they were in. Bite marks littered the necks of the two demons, ichor staining some parts of their clothing and skin (most notably around the mouth). 

"What do you want, Dagon?" Hastur grumbled, his voice sounding almost raw. Dagon gulped.

"What in the nine circles of Hell happened to you two?" She asked, looking the pair up and down. Even for a pair of demons, they looked like absolute shit. "Did you both decide to go ape and beat the Heaven out of each other or something?"

Hastur and Ligur exchanged a look coupled with something that could pass as a smile.

"Ya could say somethin' like that." Ligur responded with a shrug, and it was at that moment the Lord of the Files put two and two together. She made a face of disgust.

"Oh, Satan give me strength." She groaned, "I don't even want to know."

"If it's any consolation, we technically did it on holy ground." Hastur piped up.

"A graveyard, too." Ligur added.

"Fucking _Heaven_, I said I didn't wanna know!" Dagon cringed. "Fuck it, I don't have time for this. Take these and get out of my sight." She thrust into Hastur's hands a file folder full of documents containing information that Beelzebub, for whatever reason Dagon currently lacked the brainpower to ask about, thought would be relevant to whatever asinine task ze planned to put the Dukes of Hell up to next.

"Right," Hastur tucked the folder somewhere into his jacket. "Later, then."

Thankfully, the pair fucked off and gave her no more trouble after that. Dagon watched them go, noticing that Ligur had a number of bite marks visible on his neck even from behind. She couldn't help but cringe at the idea of just what they'd been getting up to, but at the same time...was it wrong that she felt almost a little jealous?

'Fuck it, I need a drink.' The Lord of the Files groaned internally. Maybe with some convincing she could get Beelzebub to pop up to Earth for some good ol alcohol consumption with her. 

Because that certainly couldn't go wrong in any way possible, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will i be writing dagon/beelz smut next? ehhh probably not anytime soon but i guess if the opportunity presents itself and classwork doesn't kick my shit in i might.
> 
> thank you for reading my content once again. love you guys. every comment is one extra serotonin to the clown car of bullshit we call my brain <3


	4. practicing the seven virtues- chastity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale edges Crowley. Part one of seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> boy oh boy, am I glad I’m on anon, because if I weren’t I don’t think a lot of my friends would want to talk to me after the chapters I’m putting out next!  
yes there will be one chapter per virtue. no I do not regret this. however apologies in advance for how short these are loll just think of the seven combined chapters as just one big oneshot that I’m updating as I go

Chastity- purity, abstinence

Aziraphale looks positively delectable right now.

His cock is out, one hand wrapped firmly around its thick shaft, pumping up and down slowly and sensually in a way that makes Crowley's mouth water. The angel is straddling Crowley's lap, his ass pressed directly against the demon's crotch, but besides the motion of Aziraphale jerking himself off he's not moving. Their breathing is heavy and Crowley's pupils are blown, eyes glued to the tantalizing sight in front of him.

"'Ziraphale," He murmurs, voice slurred with desire, "Please..."

"Hm?" Aziraphale asks sweetly, like he's not getting off in his lover's lap and being oh so teasing about it. "What do you want from me, my love?"

Crowley whines as he feels Aziraphale intentionally grind that wondrous ass against him, the press of the ring around the base of his cock making him see stars already. "Please angel, please let me touch you. Let me kiss you, let me suck you, dammit, let me do something."

Aziraphale smiles that all-knowing smile Crowley knows far too well. "But darling," He chimes, "Wouldn't it be nicer to just wait a little longer?"

Crowley whines, high-pitched and needy, and the angel presses a chaste kiss to his jaw.

"Think about it, dear," Murmurs Aziraphale, "The longer I leave it on, the better it will feel when I finally take it off you. Then, oh..," There's that knowing smile again and Crowley feels like he might go blind from the pleasure. "Then, my darling demon, however I choose to let you finish will feel quite heavenly indeed."

Crowley sucks in a sharp breath at the blasphemous use of Heaven's name and his cock twitches hard against the soft press of his boxers. Aziraphale moans lowly, speeding up the pumps of his hand against his cock, and biting his lip.

"Dear me, Crowley," The angel sighs, enraptured in bliss. "I just might finish sooner than expected at this rate."

Crowley keens. "And will you let me finish after you, as well?" He asks, desperate.

Aziraphale leans in so the bridges of their noses press together, fitting like puzzle pieces. "Do you really want to know the answer?" He asks in a low and husky voice and the demon can't help but moan yet again. He likely doesn't, judging from Aziraphale's tone, and instead tugs uselessly at the cuffs holding his hands behind his back as Aziraphale finishes himself off on him. The angel moans, eyes screwing shut as ropes of warm cum stain Crowley's black shirt, and the demon watches all of it with wide golden eyes.

"Goodness," Aziraphale sighs, satisfied. "That was wonderful. Thank you, dear."

A chaste kiss is shared between them.

"'S no problem, angel." Crowley pants out. "Now, will you please at least jerk me off or something?"

Aziraphale hums in contemplation, moving himself back so he can feel along the erection pressing against the demon's undergarment. He runs his fingertips over the fluid-leaking head, down the oversensitive shaft and taking great care to trace every little vein with his hand, and finally it comes to rest on a the sturdy gold wring wrapped around the base.

"Do you want it?" Aziraphale asks.

"Yes," Crowley pleads, trembling meekly. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes.

"Will you do anything for it, Crowley?" The angel continues, voice low and almost slightly threatening. The adrenaline rush it triggers feels absolutely divine.

"Oh, angel," The demon whines, "Yes."

For what feels like eons, the two sit there, eyes locked, Aziraphale's hand on Crowley's sex waiting to make a move. Finally, the angel pulls his hand away, an innocent smile on his face.

"I'm sorry, darling," He says sweetly in a way that tells Crowley he's lying through his teeth, "But I'm just not in the mood for it tonight. You'll have to remain in chastity like this till tomorrow, I'm afraid."

Crowley groans, head rolling back in frustration and tears burning in the corners of his eyes. If he wants out, all he has to do is safeword. Just one simple syllable—Eden—and this would all be over, Crowley would be released and he'd be allowed to cum, perhaps fuck his angel's mouth and throat or hand or cunt or whatever else until he'd finally had his fill and the cockring would be put away never to be spoken of till next time.

Next time. There always is a next time, isn't there.

Crowley doesn't safeword.


	5. practicing the seven virtues- diligence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> local horny bastard writes even more filthy angel/demon porn. more at 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next bit will most likely be patience (aka; the thing school is currently beating out of me right now) and it will be at least a thousand times filthier than this shit. hopefully if we’re lucky it’ll be longer as well. stay tuned, esteemed mothers and fuckers.
> 
> on an unrelated note, WHO’S READY TO RAID AREA 51

_Diligence- persistence, hard working_

"Ooh, Crowley!" Aziraphale pants, biting his lip, "Yess!"

Crowley tightens his grip on Aziraphale's waist, sweat beading at his temples as he bucks himself up into his angel's cunt. It's dripping wet, the clear slick running down Aziraphale’s thighs and painting Crowley's abdomen in a way that looks like they've been going at this for hours. Crowley shudders, feeling that familiar tightening in his abdomen as he continues to fuck his lover, nails digging into the soft flesh of his angel’s sides.

"Hhgk— Go- Someone, oh, _fuck_, angel," The demon cries out. "Cumming ssssoon...I'm gonna..."

Aziraphale, with that sweet angelic smile he always sports at the best and worst moments, cups Crowley's chin with a look of reverence in his eyes. "Again? Aww. Go ahead, darling. Cum for me. But—mmm, remember the rule. Keep going—ah! And no stopping until I say."

Crowley barely waits for him to finish and lets out a choked sob, fucking Aziraphale through his third orgasm of the night. His hips ache but he forces the sensation away, focusing only on the blinding pleasure in his gut and the feel of fresh, warm spend painting his lover's insides.

"Crowley, Crowley, Crowley..." Whispers Aziraphale, quietly rubbing his clit with his thumb as he rides his lover’s cock shamelessly, "My love, my darling demon, you feel so good."

Crowley keens weakly, falling back against the mattress with a thud, hips moving as if in autopilot now. "Thank you, Zira..." He mumbles, whining as he feels Aziraphale's cunt pulse around him in an impending orgasm.

"Thank _you_, dearheart." Aziraphale murmurs followed by a choked out moan. "You're—oh, so incredible." And with that, he finally stills his movements as his orgasm takes him, walls pulsing around Crowley's dick and his eyes fluttering shut in bliss. He moans Crowley's name, long and low, and the demon basks in the sound of it, in the feeling of his precious angel's pleasure.

Aziraphale leans downwards and Crowley instinctively presses a kiss to his damp forehead. "Perfect as always, my dear." Praises the angel.

"Mm..." Crowley hums. "Glad I could please you, angel."

Aziraphale looks up at him, a twinkle in his eyes. "Darling, I know you're a bit spent right now, but...could you perhaps spare the energy for a final round?"

The demon stares at him for a moment and then laughs. What else could he have expected?

"Fine," He says with a grin, "I'll indulge you just this once, you spoiled little angel.”

Aziraphale smiles like a cat who got the cream, giving his beloved a kiss, and in return Crowley does in fact indulge his angel again, and again, and again.


	6. practicing the seven virtues- temperance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing says holding out like letting your husband tease you till you’re mad for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol I’m sorry I’m taking forever to update :/ juggling school & porn is a lot harder than I expected, pun not intended
> 
> btw...I still refuse to come off anon but my name is Eden. do with that what you will 👀

Temperance- control, self-restraint

Aziraphale squeezes the base of his cock, whimpering, trying to stave off his orgasm yet again.

"There you go, sweetheart." Crowley purrs, voice sweet like honey and his breath warm against the shell of his lover's ear. "That's the third time now, isn't it? That you've stopped yourself from finishing just for me?"

Aziraphale shudders, the demon's words making him feel sinfully warm all over. He whines, turning his head to bury himself in the crook of Crowley's neck.

"Please..." He begs, hand still wrapped firmly around his cock. "Please, Crowley, I can't do this anymore."

"That doesn't sound like 'Eden' to me, angel." Purrs the demon. His serpentine tongue flicks out, grazing the cartilage of Aziraphale's earlobe, and the angel shudders again. "Temperansssse is a virtue."

"But I want it, Crowley," He begs again, looking up at his demon with wide, beautiful blue eyes that Crowley can't resist every time except this one.

"How badly, angel?" The demon asks, one hand sliding down from its spot on Aziraphale's hip to graze against a soft, pale thigh. "How badly do you want to cum for me?"

Aziraphale's arousal is practically driving him mad. "So badly," He whispers against the other's clavicle, "So badly, Crowley, it's all I want, it’s all I need."

Crowley smirks to himself, knowing it's him picking the angel apart like this, and he revels in the wanton noise his angel makes when he grazes the pad of his thumb over his leaking, sensitive cockhead.

“You’ve been wonderful for me tonight, angel.” Crowley praises, kissing Aziraphale’s cheek tenderly. “Just perfect. Such a well trained angel, just for me.”

Aziraphale’s eyes, half lidded with pleasure, widen suddenly as Crowley ducks his head downwards. He takes the tip of Aziraphale’s arousal into his mouth, that damned tongue of his lapping slowly, gently against the slit, taking in the taste of the precum that practically floods his mouth. The angel’s eyes roll back and he moans, low and guttural, bucking his hips upward only for Crowley to pin them back down.

“No, angel,” He teases, looking up at Aziraphale with a dastardly twinkle in his eyes, “You’ve got to hold out for me, remember?” And with the snap of his fingers, he feels a tightness around the base of his length. There’s nothing physically there and they both can see as much, but even when Aziraphale withdraws his shaking hand it still feels as though it hasn’t moved from there in the slightest.

“Ohh, Crowley,” The angel moans, feeling the demon take his length further into his mouth even if just barely. “Whatever are you doing to me, love...?”

Crowley looks up at him with those beautiful yellow eyes, two half-moons that respond silently: “What I want with you, angel, just like always.” And oh, how painfully close to finishing that look alone makes Aziraphale feel.

Crowley’s mouth is somehow the creation of both heaven and hell themselves. It’s soft, warm, so wet, saliva taking all the friction out of this act and making Aziraphale see stars behind his eyelids. He wants to buck up into Crowley’s mouth so badly, make him take all of it in his mouth and throat and use his beloved to finish off but he can’t and oh, it’s killing him.

“Ohhh, Crowleyyy...” Aziraphale can barely think straight, see straight. Hell, he can barely force his lips to form words outside of abstract, wanton moans. Tears begin to run down the sides of his rosy pink cheeks, desperation manifesting in liquid form and staining his countenance as a show of its sincerity. Crowley, of course, notices all of this, and he only sucks his cheeks in, bobbing his head up and down on the thick length with just a touch more pressure on it than before. The angel sobs, tossing his head back, and runs both of his hands through his lover’s thick red hair. “No, no, no, it’s so good Crowley, you can’t possibly do this and expect me not to—“

Crowley hums quietly, the vibrations of his throat teasing the tip of his ever sensitive cock, and suddenly the pressure around the base of Aziraphale’s length is gone. Finally, finally he’s free to cum, finally his hours of edging and teasing himself and holding out for Crowley have paid off! Aziraphale keens, tightening his grasp on Crowley’s hair and bucking up into his wet, warm mouth. With a final feral shout of his lover’s name, the angel trembles, cock throbbing and at long last letting hot cum hit the back of the demon’s throat. Crowley swallows around his length, taking in his angel’s spend as it comes. Aziraphale swears for a second he goes blind.

“Ohh, Crowley, thank you thank you thank you!” He rambles, barely registering the fact that he’s speaking at all. He fucks himself into Crowley’s throat again and again and again, riding out his orgasm against his lover’s deliciously soft throat and mouth, until finally his orgasm ebbs off into a pleasant and warm heat in his gut that leaves him feeling well and truly spent. He flops back against the mattress, panting and shaking, and Crowley pulls off with a satisfied smile and a lick of his lips.

“There we go,” He praises, moving up to cuddle his angel so smoothly one would think he were still in a serpentine form. “That wasn’t so bad, was it, angel? Waiting it out just for me?”

Aziraphale shivers, snuggling up against the demon’s frail body. “Mmhm.” He mumbles, tired. Crowley cups the side of his love’s face with one hand, wiping tears off his warm cheek and pressing a tender kiss to the bridge of his nose.

“Such a good angel you are, Aziraphale.” Murmurs the demon into the other’s forehead, his nose buried in a sea of silk-soft blonde curls. “So perfect. Just for me.”

Aziraphale hums something in response, but it comes out too slurred for the other to understand.

“Someone needs a nap,” Teases Crowley, tipping Aziraphale’s chin up so their eyes meet. The angel gives him the closest thing a sleepy man-shaped entity can give to a pout.

“Do not,” Insists the angel, which doesn’t help his case in the slightest. He yawns, “But, if I did, I suppose you could probably expect me to be out for three days at least.”

Crowley laughs, miracling the bedsheets over their nude forms with a wave of the form. “That makes two of us, angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man it’s taking everything I’ve got not to interrupt this a/c streak & publish the Michael/Gabriel story I’ve got in the works
> 
> ...unless y’all are up for that 👀👀 in which case I just might...


	7. fuck it I lied, there’s literally nothing holy abt this one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breaking away from our regularly scheduled Aziraphale/Crowley for some angelic office fucking and boy....the placement of ‘angelic’ is a prime example of an oxymoron.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not gonna lie, I was originally scolding myself for writing this the way I did like “eden. what the fresh prince of fuck are you doing. this is so out of character and filthy that someone will surely be mad at you for doing Michael and Gabriel like this.”
> 
> but then I remembered, it’s my porn and I get to pick the sexy stuff.
> 
> that being said, enjoy what is easily the filthiest good omens porn I have ever written and likely will ever write again.

> "I cannot fucking believe you, Gabriel." Michael growled, slamming the other angel against the door with just enough control to communicate to the other that she could easily break it down if she wanted to. Gabriel, faking nonchalance in as bratty a manner as ever, raises his hands up in a mock surrender, lips curled into a smirk.

"Dear me, Michael," He purred, purple eyes fixed intently on her. "I've no clue what you could possibly mean."

"Don't give me that shit," Michael said, unbuttoning the top button of the other angel's dress shirt and loosening his tie. Her glare upwards at him can be described as nothing more accurately than predatory, hungry, and her eyes trail down to view the exposed skin of Gabriel's neck. The look in her eyes makes Gabriel shudder involuntarily. "Did you think I wouldn't notice?"

"Notice...?" Started the other Archangel, waiting for her to complete her sentence.

"Notice the fact that you absolutely stink of demon right now." Michael roughly pulled at Gabriel's necktie, not caring if it made the other gag slightly or not. She undid it, letting the tie sit disheveled across his shoulders as she began to further unbutton his shirt. "You went down to see Beelzebub again, didn't you."

"How observant of you." Gabriel still had that fucking sickly sweet smile on his face and it only added fuel to Michael's fire. She leaned in, breath deliciously warm against the other's skin, and bit down hard against the soft flesh of Gabriel's neck. The other angel groaned, low and needy, and he went slightly weak in the knees. His hands wrapped around Michael's upper back, holding her closer, letting her teeth pierce his skin and her tongue tease at the beginnings of the bruise it would surely leave there.

"See? Ugh," Michael muttered into his neck. "Utterly insatiable, you are. Not even the Prince of Hell can satisfy you."

Gabriel shuddered. "Perhaps not."

"You're too cocky," Michael bit another spotty bruise into the peak of the other's trapezius. "Gluttony is a sin, Archangel. Someone needs to put you in your place, I think."

"Really now." Gabriel let out a breathy moan. "And just what would that entail? Putting me in my place, that is."

Michael glowered. Gabriel was being far too casual about this.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She grabbed him by the lapels of his coat, pressing a harsh but close-mouthed kiss to his neck. "Let's move this over to my desk, shall we? It would be a real shame if someone were to walk by and hear us right through the door."

Gabriel shivered in a way that told her yes, it would be a shame, but his arousal didn't quite seem to agree. Michael, satisfied with the reaction for now, grabbed the two ends of his tie and pulled him along to her desk, not unlike leading a disobedient dog to its cage.

"So you think a demon can fuck you better than one of your fellow angels can? Is that it?" Michael pinned Gabriel to the side of her desk, forcing the other angel to bend slightly so they were eye-to-eye. He whimpered at the harsh press of his ass against the cold metal desk and that made the other angel perk up. She brought one hand down to squeeze Gabriel's ass, pleasantly surprised to feel the flesh there was warm and welts could be felt even through the rough fabric of his slacks. "Oh! Poor baby, did Lord Beelzebub swat you here?" Michael asked in a mock-sympathetic voice.

Gabriel winced.

"He did, didn't he?" Michael ran her fingertips over the marks and could tell even like this that he'd been hit with a switch or something of the like. How interesting. Gabriel had never really struck her as the type to enjoy that sort of thing, pun not intended. "Aw. I wonder what you could have possibly done to deserve that."

She experimentally brought her hand down against Gabriel's backside, flat-palmed, striking him gently but firmly. Gabriel flinched, moaning softly, and buried his face in the other angel's shoulder.

"Does it hurt?" Whispered Michael into the shell of his ear.

"Mm-hm." Gabriel whined.

"Good." Without a word of warning, she shoved him back onto her desk, glad she'd cleared it earlier specifically for this. Gabriel let out a startled yelp, silenced immediately afterwards by the harsh press of Michael's lips against his own. Her kiss was rough, so much so that their teeth very nearly knocked, and Michael brought a hand up to tangle her fingers in his hair and force him closer still. The tongue-against-tongue contact between them made Gabriel feel weak all over, his eyes fluttering shut and allowing the other angel to force herself into him on her desk. Michael pulled off him a few moments—though it may well have been minutes, neither were really keeping track at this point—and admired her handiwork, seeing Gabriel panting wantonly beneath her with lipstick smudged all about his lips.

"Not bad," She remarked, subtly tightening her grip on the other angel's hair. "Beelz did a good job getting you nice and pliant for me if nothing else, but that doesn't excuse the fact that you slept with him at all."

"I-I'm sorry," Whined Gabriel, the feeling of his sore backside against the cold metal desk almost too much for him to handle. Almost.

Michael laughed. "You really think that's gonna be enough to make up for it? Oh, Gabriel," She removed his tie fully, setting it on the edge of the desk for future use. "I love you, but really, sometimes I wonder just how you can be so stupid."

"Hey," Protested the Archangel, "I'm not stupid!"

"Right, right. You're not." Michael began unbuttoning the other's shirt. "Don't try to distract me from what's at hand here, though, or else I just might draw out what I've got planned for you further."

Gabriel looked up at her, then over at the tie she'd rested on the edge of her desk, and with his free hand he knocked it onto the floor.

"Oh, for fuck's sake—" Michael sighed impatiently. She glared at him before bending over to grab it. "You're a pest, you know that? A pest."

"At least I got a nice view out of it." Gabriel teased, casting a glance at Michael's backside.

"Insufferable, too." Michael straightened herself out. "Maybe I should use this to gag you instead, but then, I have a feeling you'd enjoy that a little too much."

Gabriel was about to quip back with something smart when Michael interrupted him with another harsh kiss, wrestling his blazer and shirt off his form. She ran her fingertips down the archangel's chest, noting out of the corner of a half-closed eye that there was a number of bite marks and bruises trailing down Gabriel's torso and past his waistline.

"Someone's been a naughty angel, haven't you?" Murmured Michael against the other's lips. "Letting a demon defile you. You should feel lucky I'm here to make you holy again."

Gabriel let out a gasp. "Yes," He sputtered, breathless (though technically he had no breath to lose in the first place), "I'm quite lucky, I think."

The other angel smiled, allowing the words to make her feel pleasantly warm in the chest for just a moment before metaphorically stepping back into her dominant role. "Sweet words won't lessen how angry I am with you, darling. You know defying Heaven is a very serious crime. I hope you're grateful I'm willing to keep this a secret and sort you out in private." She raked her nails on one hand down Gabriel's chest, reveling in the light marks it left behind on the skin. The other angel shuddered in delight. Michael reached up and undid her cravat, watching Gabriel's eyes focus on it hungrily, the other knowing full well it would likely either end up used as either a gag or a bind for his wrists. Both ideas aroused him equally.

"Now," Michael began in that eerily gentle voice she used when she was particularly cross with a lower-ranking angel but wasn't about to break her composure, "I will tell you what to do once, and you'll obey me without question when I do. Is that clear?" She smiled cruelly. "I think if you can manage to unconditionally obey a demon, you can do the same for one of your own, can't you?"

She gripped the inside of his thigh, dangerously close to the progressively tightening patch of fabric between his legs, and Gabriel let out a shaky whine in desperation for more.

"Yes," He whined, "I can."

"Good boy." The other angel praised in a singsong tone. "Hold out your hands to me. Wrists together."

Gabriel obeyed without hesitation, and Michael tied his wrists together tightly with her cravat.

"Wonderful. You look lovely this way, Gabriel." Michael's smile down at him was not unlike that of a predator about to tear into its prey. "I think," She said, reaching into her jacket, "I'd like to be able to look back on this with picture-perfect clarity."

Gabriel made no attempt at protesting as the other angel pulled her phone out and opened the camera, though his face did flush a lovely shade of embarrassed pink.

"Smile, pretty boy."

Click.

"Lovely." Michael smiled proudly down at the picture and set her phone face down on the table. "I think I might need that later. For now, though, I'd like to see you try and roll over onto your stomach."

Gabriel raised his eyebrows, looking down at his bound wrists and back up to her. "You're serious?"

"Do it." Michael commanded in that same cold tone of voice. Gabriel swallowed; he'd never admit it aloud, but when she spoke to him like that, it almost scared him more than Beelzebub did doing the same thing. "Now. Don't make me flip you myself."

Gabriel knew damn well she was strong enough that Michael could suplex him if she really wanted to. With that in mind, he complied or at least attempted to as best he could without the use of his hands. To say it was hard was certainly an understatement; the fact that Michael refused to get off of him made it that much harder for him to flip himself onto his stomach.

"Stop laughing," He whined at the sound of Michael giggling when he was finally on his belly. The other angel hummed.

"You're right," She said sweetly, leaning in so her lips were centimeters from the shell of his ear, "I suppose I should probably wait for when I've got my cock buried in you for that."

Gabriel drew in a sharp breath and shuddered.

Michael pressed herself against the curve of Gabriel's ass, and he could feel a bulge there that made him shiver again. "Have you made yourself a cock for me, Gabriel?" She asked, bringing a hand down to squeeze one cheek.

"Mmhm," Gabriel whimpered, the hand on his ass reigniting the pain from Beelzebub whipping him earlier. Michael chuckled darkly into his ear.

"Good!" She praised, "Do away with it for me."

"Huh?"

"I want a cunt on you." Michael reached around and unbuttoned the top button of Gabriel's slacks, pulling them off to expose him. She could see through his silk boxers that there was still a bulge on the front half and slapped his ass hard. Gabriel cried out.

"I said I want a cunt, Gabriel." Michael growled and a second later the bulge was replaced by a smooth, wet area she could feel through his underwear. She hummed in approval, running two fingers over the wet spot and watching it grow. "Ohh, that's wonderful."

"Michael!" Gabriel cried out, the forearms of his bound hands barely holding his shaking form up against her desk.

"Hm. It would be a real shame if someone were to hear you, wouldn't it, Gabe?" Michael remarked, picking his tie up off the desk. "Someone might hear you moaning for me and get curious, or perhaps jealous, and they might come in and see you." She grinned, running one hand through his hair and tightening it into a fist. "Wouldn't that be a sight for sore eyes? The Archangel Gabriel, bent over a desk and getting his sweet pussy fucked, completely out of control of whatever I do with him."

Gabriel bit his lip. "Michael..." He whined, the arousal induced from her words going straight to his newly formed pussy. She grabbed hold of his hips, pressing herself into the crease of his ass and rubbing and Gabriel had to bite down on the cravat binding his hands to keep from shouting.

"Let's see what that demon Beelzebub did to you, so I can see just what I'll have to do for you to be forgiven." The word hung in the air between them and for a moment, Gabriel felt as though he would discorporate from shame and arousal.

Michael gently—almost too gently for the role she was in—slid the other's boxers down to the middle of his thighs, pausing to take in the sight before her. Soft pink marks crisscrossed the angel's ass, welts threatening to rise on the sensitive skin. Between his legs, she could see the soft, damp folds of his cunt, framed by soft brown pubic hair. Neither of these are what particularly caught her eye, though. The thing about this that made her heart throb in excitement, that made her cock harden in her slacks was the sight of what was clearly the base of a butt plug in Gabriel's ass, a black metallic circle starkly contrasting the sore red skin around it. Michael grinned, biting her lip and summoning every ounce of self control to keep from fucking him like a feral animal right then and there.

"Wow," She said, running a finger over the barely raised flesh where whatever Beelz had used on him had crossed and pressed her thumb against the base of the plug. Gabriel moaned and bucked back against her hand. "A butt plug! Really, Gabriel? Oh, baby," She teased in a mock-sweet voice, "Why ever would you let the prince of Hell put such a thing in you? Not that it doesn't suit you, of course, but it's...certainly well beyond the bounds of what I'd imagine any other angel would allow."

"He..." Gabriel mumbled, "He, um...came in me..." The angel buried his face in his arms, embarrassed. "Wanted to keep it inside..."

"Ohh." Michael shuddered in delight. "How filthy. So you've walked back into Heaven with a demon's spend still inside of you." She pressed down on the plug again and the other let out a most beautiful, desperate sound. "Absolutely filthy. I cannot believe you'd even think of doing such a thing."

She used one hand to undo her slacks, removing her other from Gabriel to pull them and her underwear off in one smooth motion. She pressed her cock against Gabriel's slit, now absolutely soaked in fluid, and the other angel gasped at the sensation.

"I guess you've left me no choice," Michael hummed, "Than for me to fill you with my cum, just to even things out."

Gabriel learned very quickly that she'd not only made a bigger effort than usual, but a thicker one, too. She filled him with one swift motion, burying herself between silk-smooth, warm walls that clenched around her the moment she was in to the hilt.

"Ohhhh, fuck!" Gabriel cried out, tossing his head back. In an instant, a hand was around his throat, forcing his head back just a bit further, and the archangel was more than a little grateful he didn't have to breathe.

"Do you think," Michael growled into his ear, fucking into him from behind, "That you can just go downstairs and fuck a demon and get away with it?" She tightened her grip on Gabriel's throat and he keened, though the noise came out sounding quite choked.

"Hhh- nngh- Michael—" He stammered, eyes half-lidded and cheeks pink. "I-I'm sorry..."

"Are you? You don't sound very sorry." Michael's free hand dug into the side of Gabriel's hips, her perfectly manicured nails digging in just so that the pain of it only made everything feel that much better. "Fucking slut. You're not very angelic at all, are you?"

Gabriel sobbed, his cunt tightening around Michael's cock, "I'm not."

"No, I don't think you are." The other angel struggled to scold him properly through borderline animalistic thrusting into him, but as always, she manages. "I think you need someone to make you better, someone to make you good again." She withdrew her hand from its spot on Gabe's hip and struck him on the ass.

The other angel cried out, tears prickling in the corners of his eyes. "Yes!" He begged, his breaths shaky and his words fragmented. "Please—! Oh, shit, yes— Make me— ah! Make me good again!"

Michael bit down on her lower lip, letting her eyes roll back. Fucking Gabriel was a special kind of luxury, one she'd admittedly indulge herself in for as long as she was allowed to if ever given the opportunity. His walls were like silk, the grip and friction of it on her cock enough to make her blow at least twice per round, and he was always so dripping wet for her, especially when they were like this. Even now, his cunt was making the most indecent sounds as she thrust herself in and out of him and it sent electricity down her spine.

She was aware, albeit vaguely, that his clit was barely given the luxury of pressing against her every time she really thrust all the way in, so much so that Gabriel was gasping for air and she could feel the pressure of her head pressing against his cervix. (Though, she had to wonder, had he really given himself all that?) It was during one of the thrusts that she, with her hand still wrapped tightly around Gabriel's throat, pressed all the way inside, basking in the beautiful noises he let out at the feeling, and canted her hips just so it gave the slightest of friction on his clit. Gabriel keened.

"Michael," He begged, tears beginning to run down his face. Were they of pleasure, humiliation, or both? Michael sincerely hoped it was the third. "Please, please touch me, I need it, I'm begging you, please!"

"Touch you?" Cooed Michael, trailing her hand down to the curve of his pubis. She gently, ever so gently, rested the tip of her index finger on the other's clit. "You mean here?"

Gabriel let out a sound like choking. "Yess!" He pleaded, tears dripping onto the desk now. Michael smiled to herself, began to thrust again, and withdrew her hand.

"No," She growled, leaning forward so her lips brushed the shell of his ear. "You don't deserve it."

The other angel buried his head in his arms in defeat, whining.

"Noo, Michael!" He panted as the other began fucking into him again, just as relentless as before. "Please, please touch me, I need it!"

"Ohh, poor baby." Michael teased, holding two fingers out in front of Gabriel's mouth. He eagerly took them in his mouth and started sucking, moaning and gagging around the digits like a common whore. "You need me to touch you in order to get off? Is that it?" Gabe nodded weakly and she laughed.

"Never." She murmured darkly into his ear. "Not until you can show me you deserve it."

Gabriel made a sound of worldless protest, laying limp across the desk as Michael fucked into him over and over and over again. He was literally dripping wet now, clear fluids running down his thighs and onto the desk. Every thrust drew another cry out of him, another sob of pleasure, another tear of gratitude and bliss and satisfaction. Michael remembered her phone was on the table and realized it had been a hot minute since she'd last shot a video with it.

"Gabriel," She said sweetly, withdrawing her fingers from his mouth and grabbing her device. "Smile!"

She pulled out, just so she was maybe about half in and half out of him, and snapped a picture of his dripping cunt.

"Perfect." She purred, changing the setting to video and hitting record before continuing her thrusts. "Oh, so perfect, Gabriel. Too bad you're such a naughty angel or else I might let you finish too!"

Gabriel was a mess beneath her, practically singing her name and shaking like a leaf. "Are you...?" He looked over his shoulder as best he could and noticed the phone in her hand. If it were at all possible, Michael would say his cheeks turned a darker shade of red at the sight. "You're filming this?!"

Michael hummed an affirmative. "How can I not? It's such a lovely sight, seeing you like this." She grabbed one side of Gabriel's ass with her free hand, reveling in the sight of her fucking into him, displacing more and more of his slick and eking more and more lewd noises out of him.

The other angel was, at this point, well beyond the use of words. All Gabe could manage to say at this point amounted to nothing more than choked, broken moans; sometimes in short, repetitive sounds, sometimes long and drawn out whines and shouts of “Ohhh, Michael!” that made the other angel shudder deliciously against him. Gabriel’s ass hurt, both from the welt marks from earlier and from Michael slamming into him repeatedly at the pace she was. Not to mention, that plug was still inside of him, pushing into his ass with every subtle movement the other angel made inside of him. It was so much, almost too much, and yet somehow it was nowhere near enough. He knew, from what little experience he’d had with this genital configuration thus far, that he physically could not finish unless he had his clit touched, either by himself or by whoever he was laying with at the moment. Michael’s hands were resting at present against Gabriel’s hips, nails digging in roughly as she fucked him without a shred of mercy, and he couldn’t help but think just how close they both were to his throbbing clit, how close both hands were to the one thing standing between him and his impending orgasm.

“Michael—“ He begged, breathless and panting, “Touch me, touch me, please please I need it!”

Michael hummed thoughtfully, reaching one hand down to cup the curve of his inner thigh. “Do you deserve it, though?” She whispered. Gabriel already knew what his answer was going to be.

“No,” He sobbed in his desperation. Oh, just the touch of her hand down there was enough to drive him insane—what on earth was she doing to him? “I don’t, I know I don’t, but please—“

And before he could finish stumbling over his sentence, two of Michael’s fingers pressed against his throbbing clit, rubbing uncharacteristically gentle and teasing circles into the soft nub. Gabriel saw stars and came instantly with a borderline scream, falling limp against the desk as his cunt shuddered and clenched around the other’s still-moving cock. Michael hissed, biting her lower lip and squeezing her eyes shut as she came inside, making sure to deposit twice the amount she normally would. She reveled in the feeling of how wet and sticky it made his insides, rubbing him off through his orgasm and continuing to fuck him aggressively.

“Yes, yes, fuck yes, Gabriel,” She rambled, mad with the blinding hot pleasure of it all, “Cum for me, knowing you don’t deserve it!” With a final, powerful groan of pleasure, she deposited the last of her spend inside of him, pulling out to observe the mess she’d made inside of him. Gabriel looked well and truly wrecked; his face was blotchy and red, streaked with tears, and he kept his head down between his still-bound arms. Michael noted that last bit with a twinge of satisfaction, knowing full well that if Gabriel was really so hell-bent on being a brat with her he’d do away with her cravat himself, and yet he’d done no such thing. Cum spilled out of him, running down his trembling thighs, and Michael miracled into existence a cool, damp cloth. With a snap of her fingers, the other’s wrists were free and she handed the towel to him.

“Here,” She said, “Wipe your face down, dear, and I’ll clean up this mess back here for you.”

Gabriel sniffled, wiping his cheeks and taking in the feeling of the cold cloth against his skin. “Don’t worry about the cum,” He insisted breathlessly. “You...you can just leave it.”

Michael laughed. “Truly insatiable, you are,” She teased, pressing a kiss to the back of his shoulder. She then realized she’d left her phone on the table, still recording, and turned it off. That one was going in her personal files for...record-keeping. Yeah.

“You know I never meant what I said, right? About you being a ruined angel and whatnot.” Michael murmured into his neck sweetly. “That’s just part of the fun.”

“I know,” The other responded casually, “If I really were ruined, we wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Mmhm. Don’t think I’d want you anywhere else, to be honest.” She made a face. “If—ech, if Aziraphale and Crowley can bugger one another for so long, I suppose we can do the same without reparations, yeah?”

Gabriel rolled his eyes with a groan, this sound far from one of sexual pleasure. “Don’t bring them into this. I’d rather we just pretend they don’t exist anymore, yknow? Too much paperwork involved there.”

“Agreed.” Michael withdrew, doing away with her effort and putting her slacks and underwear back on. “Though, in their defense, I don’t think we’d have thought to ever start doing this otherwise. Will you stay here a little longer? You look too spent to face the rest of the office on your own.”

“Mm..” Gabriel thought it over a moment, miracling his own clothing back into order. And he had the nerve to get on others for their frivolous miracles, Michael thought. “Sure, why not. Thanks, by the way.”

“Yeah.” The other angel helped him to his feet, taking back her cravat and retying it. Gabriel adjusted the small jewel pinned to it, his hands lingering a few moments too long, and Michael looked up at him with a lopsided half-smile. “You don’t have to do that, you know.”

“I know I don’t.” The other smiled cheekily and the pair shared a chaste, tired kiss. They were, after all, beings of love, and what was the point of love if not to share it?

“You can rest in my office chair if you need it. I’ve got something work-related to take care of, so I won’t need it.” She tucked her phone into her blazer pocket, heading for the door and unlocking it. “I’ll be back in just a moment.”

Gabriel nodded at her and she left, making sure the door was securely shut behind her. She decided she’d take a brisk walk through their level, looking about the place with satisfaction; not a single angel, not even Uriel or Sandalphon, could be seen anywhere. It was like the entire floor had been deserted. Michael smiled to herself at her handiwork. Who knew a single mass email and a chat with one of the Seraphim would be enough to create a meeting on such short notice? She reckoned the place would remain empty for another thirty minutes or so before folks slowly began to return to their cubicles, so she completed a leisurely lap around the floor before returning to her private office.

Much to her delight, she found Gabriel asleep in her office chair when she entered the room, dozing softly with a peaceful expression on his face. She made sure to double check that the door was locked behind her this time and approached the sleeping angel quietly, leaning against the back of her chair. On a whim, she reached up and ran her fingers through his soft, messy brown hair and Gabriel stirred slightly, though not waking enough to be what one would call conscious.

‘Cute,’ She thought to herself. Personality wise, it was no secret that Gabriel really could be a pompous prick when he wanted to be—and, even sometimes when he didn’t want to be—but times like this made Michael develop a sort of soft spot for him. In the end, she figured, he really was nothing more than a golden retriever; big, kinda dumb, but genuinely wanted to make people happy. Now, put that golden retriever through sixty-plus centuries of forced conforming to Heaven’s plans for war they were only just beginning to dismantle and unlearn and you had Gabriel to a T.

She pressed a chaste kiss to his hairline before taking out her phone and unlocking it. There was an app she’d personally designed and installed onto the device which, after inputting a very long and complicated password into it, would open for her and display a number of files she’d secretly saved to it over the years. More recently, there had been the addition of a number of photo and video files depicting herself and Gabriel: her taking him over his desk, or hers; him on his knees, her cock deep in his throat and a desperate look in those pretty violet eyes; even a series of short videos depicting Michael and Uriel spitroasting him. That had been a fun time, Michael remembered fondly, and she made a note to chat with Uriel and see if she’d be up for trying that again. After transferring the pictures and video from this session into the app, she locked it again, exited, and decided she’d place a quick phone call before Gabriel woke up again. Running the fingers of her free hand through his hair to keep him sated, she pushed a certain contact’s number and held the device to her ear, waiting.

Bzzt...bzzt...

“Hello, Ligur. ... Yes, everything is well and good. I’ve a message I need you to pass onto Prince Beelzebub—oh. Could you really do that? ... Oh, thank you, Ligur. You’re really so kind to me. ...Hah. Yes, up yours as well.

...

“Good evening, Prince Beelzebub. Pleasure speaking to you ... yes, yes, he’s right here. Sleeping very soundly, might I add. ... He did indeed keep it in. I made sure not to disturb it. What a sight for sore eyes this one is, especially with those welts you left there. ... Of course, I’ll be sure to transfer the files onto the thumb drive and send it down with him next time you two meet. ... Two months? Yes. Sounds lovely, I’ll let him know. I’m sure he’ll be looking forward to it as much as I am. Good day to—

“Oh, what was that? ... No, as far as I’m aware, he does not know. Though, I do have my suspicions he may be onto us. He does know of my periodic communication with Ligur, after all. ... Alright, if you insist, I’ll keep mum about it. Is that all then? ... Right. Good day to you, Prince Beelzebub.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Michael. Ever the devious bastard. Gotta love her.
> 
> Hope y’all enjoyed. Drop suggestions if you’ve got any because after I finish the virtues series idk what I’ll write next lolll


	8. practicing the seven virtues- humility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes, you’ve just gotta tease a pretty girl for no other reason than because you can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this has made me realize a few things.  
1) messing around with genital configurations on these characters is amazing,  
2) holy shit my mental image of fem presenting Aziraphale is HOT. 10/10 would tap that.

_Humility- modesty, reverence_

Crowley thinks Aziraphale looks lovely in a skirt.

To be fair, Aziraphale looks lovely in whatever she decides to wear. For today, that 'whatever' was a long, beige skirt paired with her usual button-up, vest, and coat. Crowley thought she looked beautiful, the way he always thought of his angel, but...

That outfit of hers was just a bit too modest for his liking.

It covered her legs in their entirety, you understand, but managed to leave very little to the imagination in terms of seeing what her outline was. Her hips especially made Crowley sigh, so round and full and just waiting for him to rest his hands against them, waiting for him to grab her and pull her close or shove her against the wall, waiting for him to debauch her in every way his demonic mind could imagine, waiting—

"Crowley!" Aziraphale called his name a second time, resting a hand on his shoulder and ultimately stalling him out of his filthy fantasies. "My dear, are you alright? You've been staring off for quite a while now."

Crowley looked over at her, taking in her worried expression. "Yes," He said, looking her up and down, "I'm quite fine. Though, I will admit," He leaned into Aziraphale's side, stopping just as his lips were inches from her ear, "There has been something bothering me lately, something only you can fix, my beloved angel."

Aziraphale's face flushed a handsome shade of pink and she averted her gaze. "Oh, whatever do you mean?" She asked, knowing damn well what it is he meant by this if the rising tent in his trousers was any indication.

"You know precisely what I mean," Crowley purred, snaking his hands around the angel's waist. "Don't you, pretty little thing?"

Aziraphale shuddered. "No, Crowley. Really, I don't." She looked over at him shyly, her beautiful blue eyes already dilated with lust. "You'll have to tell me."

Crowley smirked, burying his face against the angel's neck. "Oh, Aziraphale," He murmured sweetly, "You look simply stunning like this. Such a pretty girl you make, my angel." Aziraphale sighed, already feeling blissed out from the barrage of compliments, but there was more. The demon slid both hands up to cup her sizable breasts and the angel gasped, squirming slightly as Crowley squeezed both gently at the same time. "I'd like it quite a bit if you were to sssshow off some of this a bit more, you know."

He let his tongue flicker out on the s sounds to tease at the angel's neck and it was enough to make Aziraphale whine.

"B-But Crowley," She protested, squirming slightly against the demon's touch. Oh, he had no right to make this feel so good even when fully clothed, and yet— "Please, dearest, I'll be opening the shop soon! You can't get me all worked up now."

Crowley quirked an eyebrow. "But then, wouldn't this be all the more reason to delay opening it just a bit more?"

Aziraphale paused and the demon knew he had her convinced, or so he thought. She did hate having to open shop, after all.

"No, Crowley," She finally said after a moment's deliberation, "I may as well get it out of the way now. Do stop being such a pest, and—ah!" Crowley squeezed at her breasts again.

"Oh, I'm a pest, am I?" Teased the demon, running his tongue up the side of the angel's neck. Aziraphale whimpered helplessly. "Tell you what, angel. I'll let you run the shop, just like you so badly want, but..." He grinned, and Aziraphale could see from the corner of her eye that it was a wicked, devious grin, "We're going to do it my way."

Five minutes later, the first customer of the day walked into Aziraphale’s shop. The angel in question sat at her desk, legs crossed firmly and focused very intently on a book. The customer noted she hardly even reacted to his presence, not even flinching at the sound of her shop’s bell going off. That in itself was strange, but as he looked closer at her desk, he noticed something that made him recoil in horror.

“Miss Fell,” He exclaimed, “Are you aware there’s a snake on the edge of your desk?!”

Aziraphale finally looked up at him, an unamused and unfriendly expression on her face. “Oh, that’s just Anthony. He’s here to weed out the pests.” She deadpanned and went back to her book.

“Right.” The man looked over at the snake again, who was curled up on itself. It leered at him with a pair of gold eyes that, inexplicably, made him feel a deep sense of dread in his gut. Needless to say, that man was not in the shop for much longer. When he finally left, Aziraphale shivered, letting out a moan she’d been holding in since the man got there.

“You said,” She whimpered, shifting in her seat, “I’ll have to keep it on the whole time till closing?”

The snake on her desk flicked his tongue out in affirmative.

See, there was a second layer to the picture of this very odd couple that few folks—in fact, no folks at all for that matter—would notice upon entering the shop. First and foremost, beneath the table Miss Aziraphale was trying and failing to stave off a rather noticeable erection, leaving a tent in her skirt as well as a very slight (but quickly growing) wet spot. Attached to the base of her aforementioned cock was a small vibrating toy currently running at about half speed, worn per the instruction of a certain someone currently parked close by. Finally, the snake on the edge of her desk, who was very large and intimidating by all accounts, was curled strategically around the controller of said toy, manipulating it with very subtle body movements from time to time. Each movement was calculated just so a shift one way might turn the toy’s speed up, or it might turn it down. It may go all the way up, or it may shut off entirely. Aziraphale was never sure entirely of what Crowley was going to do next with this device of his, and that only exacerbated her ecstasy that much more.

“Crowley, I can’t—!” She started to complain, only to be cut off by another customer entering her shop. Shit, fuck, damn. The angel bit her lip and tried to go back to her reading, the snake on her desk smugly burying its head in the folds of its body.

It went on like this for the good part of an hour. A customer would come in, Aziraphale would give them the cold shoulder, and Crowley would scare them off in some way or another simply by being there. All the while, the serpent teased his lover with the remote of the toy discreetly hidden within the coils of his body, and it drove the pair near to madness with pleasure.

Finally, finally the end of the hour rolled around and the last customer finally fucked off. Crowley wasted no time in miracling the shop’s sign to read “closed”, locking the door, and shutting the blinds.

“Now, angel,” The demon shifted back to his human self, stretching out a crick in his neck and leaning back to see under the desk. In his hand, he held the remote to the vibrator, which was currently switched off. “Let’s see what an hour’s worth of stimulation gets us, yeah?”

Aziraphale whimpered, lifting her skirt up to reveal what sat underneath. She’d opted to ditch the underwear for this and go commando, the result of which being a very handsome and prominent wet spot in the beige front of her clothing. Her cock sat half-hard, red, and desperate for contact against a cream-white thigh, semen from a ruined orgasm or two running down the flesh. Even now, her cock pulsed weakly with a bit of cum still dribbling out, and Crowley realized he must have ruined at least a second orgasm from her without any sort of direct contact on his part.

“Angel,” he breathed, sliding off the desk and kneeling between her legs. Aziraphale blushed, bashfully averting her eyes. “Oh, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” Crowley tenderly took the tip of her cock into his mouth, suckling gently and tonguing at the fluid running out, and the angel let out a moan of bliss as she curled her body forward against him.

“Crowleyyyy!” She cried, running her fingers through his hair. The demon in question looked up at her slyly, pulling off her cock and lapping up the juices on her thigh.

“Aww. Does someone want to fuck my mouth?” He teased and the angel nodded fervently. “My, my. Never had such a pretty girl ask for something so debauched before.” Crowley reached up and grabbed her breasts, squeezing playfully, and Aziraphale keened.

“Oh, Crowley,” She moaned, desperate tears in those pretty blue eyes, “You beast, you lecherous creature, don’t deny me any further, please!”

Crowley chuckled, lowered his mouth to her cock once more, and complied.


	9. practicing the seven virtues- charity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aka: the only woman crowley is consistently attracted to is fem presenting Aziraphale bcuz /damn, those tiddies/ 👀👀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes sorry I’m taking ages to update anything, school and sport and chronic illness r continuing to give me Tyson upper-cuts daily and pornography is my only saving grace at this point lmfao

_Charity- giving, generosity_

Crowley tries not to let himself do this too often. He feels guilty about it even as the relief of letting his cock out of his underwear washes over him, and even after he gives it a few experimental strokes to feel the pleasure it brought him. Masturbating in and of itself wasn’t the issue here; in fact, given that it was forbidden in just about every sect of Christianity he felt in some way that it was almost a duty to do it whenever he could. The issue was the sort of things that came to mind whenever he got himself in this state, and the events that had led up to it were of no help.

It was Aziraphale’s fault. That’s how Crowley tried to rationalize it, anyway. The angel had decided, for the first time in a very long while, to take on a more feminine figure and simultaneously take Crowley by surprise. Having been given no prior warning about the fact that she’d changed her gender overnight, he’d nearly dropped the bottle of wine he’d brought into the bookstore on the floor the moment he saw her. Aziraphale had turned around with that ridiculously innocent look on her face, smiled, and said “Oh, hello, darling. How good of you to stop by.”

It had all gone downhill from there. At least, Crowley’s thought process had gone downhill anyway. As the two beings lounged about the bookstore and drank the evening away, the demon became progressively more and more sexually frustrated from the sight of her alone. The sweater Aziraphale had chosen looked comfortable, soft, and the way it hugged the swell of her breasts made Crowley want to rip away the fabric and have his way with them. And good fucking Lord, the way her trousers hugged her hips now that she had a curvier body shape. She was the epitome of a beautiful woman, a sight that made Crowley tempted to keep the bookshop on a permanent lockdown until the angel decided to revert back to male, just so no one else would ever get the privilege of seeing her like this. Of course, Aziraphale would think him mad for the idea should he say it aloud, but oh sweet Someone did he want it so badly.

The climax of it all, however, came when Crowley insisted he leave for the night (lest his lust get the better of him and he wound up taking her over whatever surface was most accessible). Aziraphale had let him go, of course, but in her tipsy state she’d insisted on a hug before he left.

“N-not that you have to give me one, of course!” She’d insisted, “I just think, well, it might be nice is all.”

Fuck, Aziraphale was adorable when embarrassed. Of course Crowley obliged her.

As it turns out, hugging a busty woman like Aziraphale was really not the best move on Crowley’s part. She was just so soft, every part of her sweet and delicate and perfect like no other being in all of Creation in a way that quietly drove the demon crazy with want. For a moment, as Crowley savored the feeling of Aziraphale hugging him with her breasts pressed against his body, he wondered why the Lord ever bothered making anything after her at all.

Which brings us to how he’s doing now. One hand was wrapped around his cock, slowly jerking himself off, while the other was flung over the side of his chair. His eyes were screwed shut as he gradually lost himself to pleasure and, on its heels, a fantasy pertaining to the encounter with Aziraphale earlier that day.

“Crowley...” In his mind’s eye, Aziraphale was backed up against the wall of her shop, a bashful look on her face as Crowley kissed at her neck. His hands toyed with her breasts, squeezing them and feeling at her perky nipples underneath her sweater (she did not bother wearing a bra in this fantasy, because why on earth would she?), and every move drew another sugar-sweet moan from the angel’s mouth.

“What do you want from me, angel?” Crowley purred into her ear, his serpentine tongue flickering out to tease the shell of her ear. “Tell me and whatever it is, I will give it to you.”

“Foul tempter!” The angel protested, squirming against his grasp though they both knew the last thing Aziraphale wanted was for him to stop. “The only thing I want is for you to unhand me!”

“Hmm...” Crowley slid two fingers between her legs, rubbing at the spot her clit and labia lay beneath her clothing, and Aziraphale gasped. “I don’t feel too inclined to believe that. I wonder just how wet you are down here, but first—“

With that, he pulled her sweater up, his lust reaching a fever pitch as her breasts fell back down against her chest. Aziraphale squeaked and Crowley wasted no time in putting his mouth on her, taking one nipple in and sucking.

“Ohh, Crowley!” She moaned, one hand wrapping around the back of his head and holding him closer. Crowley grinned into her breast and used his free hand to rub at her clit through her trousers. Aziraphale howled, rolling her head back against the wall, and from there it didn’t take much to bring her off.

“What a shameless girl you are,” Teased Crowley as he worked on undoing the buttons of her trousers. “Coming so quickly from being touched like that, and by a demon of all beings!”

Aziraphale weakly leaned back against the wall, spreading her thighs so Crowley could better see the wet spot in her silky white panties as he pulled her trousers down. “If only you could feel your own tongue, dear boy, you’d know exactly what it is you do to me.”

Crowley’s eyes went wide at the sight and impulsively let his snakelike tongue dart out to taste the damp spot between her legs. Aziraphale shuddered.

“Angel,” He sighed dreamily, his breath warm against her sensitive thighs, “If only you could see what you do to me.”

There were so, so many things Crowley wanted to do to Aziraphale in that feminine body of hers. In this fantasy, alone in his room, he finally had the chance to do all of them and more with her for as long as he pleased. In his mind’s eye, he ate her out against the wall, pleasing her beautiful cunt with nothing more than his tongue and two then three then four fingers until Aziraphale absolutely wailed with need for it, begged Crowley for something more inside of her. Who was he not to indulge his angel, after all?

“Angel!” He moaned aloud, both in the fantasy and in real life, “So fucking tight!” Crowley fucked her against her writing desk, the closed blinds being the one thing keeping the world from seeing their debauchery, and Aziraphale practically sobbed with pleasure into the desk.

“Crowley, Crowley, Crowley,” She was really a sight now, her blonde curls a frizzy mess and her pale face flushed a tear-stained red. Her pink lips were dark and split-slick, swollen just a little from fierce and territorial kisses from Crowley, and the demon wasn’t sure there it was possible for this much beauty to happen anywhere else. “Please, please more, I’m almost there!”

“You want me to cum inside you, angel?” Crowley grabbed a fistful of Aziraphale’s messy hair and pulled. The angel groaned, thoroughly blissed out, and her pretty blue eyes fluttered shut. “You want a demon to cum in your pretty angelic cunt? I can arrange that, pretty girl. You just have to beg.”

“Crowley—“ It was near the millionth time she’d said it so prettily tonight, and her throat was sore and raw with it now. “I need— ah!” She keened, eyes rolling back, and in the next instant Crowley felt her cunt clenching tightly around his length. The force of her orgasm was so intense that a few more thrusts of his hips and the demon was done, grabbing firmly on her hips to keep all the way inside her as he finally filled her with his spend.

Crowley went limp in his chair, panting heavily, and his mind went blank with post-orgasmic bliss. He thought he heard something, like a knocking on the doorframe, but dismissed it originally until he heard it again.

“Crowley, dear?”

The demon’s eyes shot open and to his horror, Aziraphale stood in the doorway to his bedroom with a fake-innocent look on her face. In one hand was the demon’s sunglasses.

“That was quite the show you put on, dearest.” She smiled at him sweetly and held the glasses up. Oh, fuck, Crowley thought in humiliation, how long had she been standing there for?! “Not that I meant to intrude, of course. You left these at the bookshop, so I came to return them.”

All Crowley could do was stare in shock and embarrassment, his cock laying soft against his thigh. It seemed as though it had just dawned on Aziraphale how humiliating the situation was for him and gave him a sympathetic look.

“Aww, don’t look so ashamed, dear. I’m not mad.” She giggled. “In fact, it should have been expected given the way you stared at me over drinks tonight. Now, why don’t you come get these glasses from me, my dear?”

Crowley could have easily gotten a new pair, turned into a very small snake, and scuttled away from the situation as fast as his tiny body could carry him. He did not do this, however, and instead opted to swallow his pride, put his dick back in his pants, and do a miniature walk of shame across the room to get them back. He held out his hand to Aziraphale, refusing to make any eye contact until a good three seconds passed with nothing touching his hand.

“Angel, just give me the bloody glasses back, and then afterwards can we please never speak of this again—“ Crowley stopped when he saw the positively smug look across Aziraphale’s face and watched with wide eyes as she pulled the front of her sweater down enough to show where her heavy breasts pressed against one another.

“You want your glasses back, dear?” She asked. Crowley nodded mutely. “Well, since you were so lovely for me just a moment ago, why don’t you give me a little something first and then I’ll hand them back?”

Crowley enthusiastically gave her everything she asked for and then more, leaving his glasses on the floor forgotten in the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was originally gonna write Aziraphale dropping Crowley’s glasses down the front of her sweater to tease him but I thought that might be too filthy for this so 👀 
> 
> am I underestimating yalls filth levels here or no

**Author's Note:**

> alternate title: when ur boss brings ur crush to the gangbang and instead of things being awkward he ends up making the best wingman ever
> 
> thank u for reading my pornography


End file.
